A Boy in a Girls Body

I've Got Toubled Thoughts and the Self Esteem to Match

Trigger warning: this goes into detail about how Leo raped Sam so if you get triggered by that kind of thing skip the part in the different font.

Sam's POV:

They took him into the surgery room.  I wasn't allowed to be in the room with him during the surgery, so I sat outside. It took two hours for them to do the surgery. Then they took him back to the room. He had to stay in the hospital for the rest of the week then he had to stay in bed until the insisions healed. This entire thing took three weeks. After that he was allowed to run around but not to anything that could hurt him.

It's now the last week of June. Ash and i are at the pond behind the park. He's swimming and I'm sitting on a rock with my feel in the water. Neither of us have talked about what happened at the roller rink since the surgery. 

"Fourth of July is coming up Sammy." Ash says.

"Yeah, I guess it is." I say.

What happened is still bothering me. I think that's a wound that will never heal... They took my virginity... I can't get that back.

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I guess. Why do you keep asking me that?" I say.

"Because, they hurt you way more than they hurt me. My wounds may heal, but yours never will. The police still haven't found Leo and his gang. And until they do you can't tell anyone what happened. I love you more than words can say Sammy. I want to help you in any way I can." He says.

I never thought he'd understand what was going on in my head. A part of me didn't want him to understand. It was too hard to deal with. One thing I haven't told him yet was the fact that I had started self harming in the time since the roller rink. My mind has gone off the rails and now I'm in a constant depressed state. I don't know what to do. I haven't taken off my shirt since then, nor have I taken off my pants. I cover up as much of my body as I can in fear of it happening again.

"I'm glad you understand how I feel, but how do you understand?" I say looking at him.

He came over to the edge of the water where I was then sat down next to me.

"When I was younger, the same thing happened to me. Except it was my dad. It was why I had to go to the adoption center the first time. Then Ashley and Karen adopted me. And we moved here, far away from my parents." He explains.

"Why haven't you told me before?" I ask.

"Because I didn't want to upset you." He says honestly.

"Oh." I say.

He goes back to swimming and I zone out.

"Now Camille, you're going to do as I say." Leo said.

Ash was on the floor unconscious, there was nothing I could do. I was helpless. So I submitted.

"Take off all your clothes. Then throw them to the side." Leo demanded.

I did as he said and took off all my clothes.

"Now come here and kiss me." He demanded.

I went over and kissed him as tears started to roll down my face. The kiss advanced as he striped himself. His friends had already left leaving me and Leo alone with Ash unconscious on the floor.

"Lay down on the floor and spread your legs bitch." He hissed.

I did as I was told. And that's when he got on top of me and started raping me. I screamed as he did this. Totally helpless and no one to help me. All I could feel was fear. When he finished he quickly got dressed then left me alone in the roller rink, naked and crying.

"Sammy!" Ash yells as he sakes me.

I didn't realize I was screaming and crying. He had me restrained in his arms. I stopped screaming and was now just crying.

"Shhhhh. Sammy, you're safe, I'm here. No one will hurt you. You're okay. I promise." Ash whispers in my ear while he rocks me back and forth.

He kept me in his arms while I calmed down. After several minutes of crying I finally calmed down.

"What happened Sammy?" Ash asked, being careful not to upset me.

"I-i remembered what happened that day... I-i thought I-it was real." I say quietly.

"It's over now okay? I promise you're safe." He reassures me.

"Can we go back to the center now?" I ask.

"Of course Sammy." He says.

He got dressed and then we went to the bus so we can go back to the center. Nither of us said a word. But i knew I'd have to talk about it sooner or later. But how soon?