November 13, 2014
It's Friday the 13th and I've just gotten up. I wonder what's going to happen today, I'll be back later to tell but there's nothing so far. Did I forget to mention that I feel really sick...?
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Hey it's about 18:36 and I can barely move, but I don't tell the others. They're too caught up in each other to notice that I haven't left my room today. I cannot move without feeling some sort of pain shoot throughout my body. I don't know what's wrong, but I know it'll blow over by tomorrow. You know the worst part of being stuck in my room all day? My room's right next to Michael's. Why is that such a bad thing? They were gettin' busy all day (if you know what I mean). I hate hearing his moans and the tapping of the headboard on my wall. I could feel my heart being ripped out of my chest as I heard the moans, tears were on my cheeks and I couldn't help but wonder why I'm being such a baby about this. I mean, the possible love of my life barely knows I exist, fucks his girlfriend in the next room, not to mention his girlfriend treats him like some sort of criminal and is a total dick to all of us.
I just got hit with the shivers, so I think I'm going to stop soon. Maybe I'll die from this, what if I do and nobody notices because they never checked up on me? I'd just, like, rot in here for until somebody smells my decaying body and finally comes to get me. Oh well. I'm officially four days clean, because I can't get up.
November 17, 2014
I still feel like shit. When is this going to blow over? I started throwing up once and Mikey, of-fucking-course, had to be the one to find me sprawled out on the bathroom floor, too weak to move. He had carried me to my bed after much protest from yours truly. I totally could've walked back to my room...maybe....probably not. Oh well. It gave me an excuse to finally be held by him and let me tell you, it felt great. I was finally held by the one I like, the only thing that could've made it better was if it lasted longer and I wasn't sick. On the plus side, it did last longer. He cuddled with me, and talked with me until I fell asleep, though I really tried staying awake. I wanted to savor that moment because I'm almost positive that it won't happen again.
When I had woken after that, I had expected him to be gone and I was right. I woke to an empty, cold bed. You could imagine my disappointment. But I laid there anyway, unable to move still and really bored. My room is begining to get stuffy. I'm texting Michael, I'll write it out for you in here so you don't feel left out.
Me: Mikeyyy
Mikey: Hey buddy how ya feelin?
Me: bored. Come and get me?
Mikey: Im with ruby rn..
Me: o ok. I just wanted to go downstairs.
Mikey:ill come 2 get u
Me: o no its ok. dont want 2 ruin ur time with her.
He doesn't answer so now I'm kinda just stuck here in bed. Did I forget to mention there's no tv in here and his girlfriend's name is Ruby? Yeah all of those things are true. Hold on there's a knock on the door so I must hide you, my trusted book. Later.
November 18, 2014
I'm a little better I think. Also, in case you're wondering the person that knocked on the door was Michael and he took me down stairs so I could watch tv with the other two. You think that's good right? Yeah, okay wait till you read this. He was setting me down on the couch and I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek for thanks and right as I did, his girlfriend walks in. I will write exactly what she said because it's been ringing in my mind ever since. She said, and I quote; "Michael! Are you cheating on me?!" and when he said no she had a small look of relief that quickly turned to disgust. "Good, I couldn't see you with a faggot like him anyway." he then gave me a dirty look and scampered off with her. My heart cracked, or at least what's left of it did, as I watched him walk away. I had planned on watching tv, but I turned my back to it instead and sobbed.
My body was shaking with each noise that escaped my lips. I can't believe she had said that to me and he practically agreed by walking away with her. I thought I had at least a small chance with him, and after that I know I don't.
Luke came in after hearing me crying and asked what was wrong, but I couldn't tell him. My throat was hurting from crying, and I felt like I was going to throw up again, so Luke held me until I calmed down and finally spilled everything, except the itching in my wrists.
He knows I'm gay and likes Michael. Oh, and he knows I'm sick too. I may or may not have thrown up on him a little.
