Solos contra el mundo - Simbar (On hold- updates soon)

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Ámbar Smith

How did Ámbar Smith, the queen of the rink, the perfect girl everyone wanted to copy, to date, to be, ended up like this?

I wonder that myself... Looking back, it's almost impossible not to blame her... The creature living in my house, using my pool, my things, which now are hers and who is loved by everyone.

But I stopped blaming her a while ago, stopped blaming my godmother and even stopped blaming my birth mother. There was no point in doing those. It was terrible to always feel that way, filled with hate like Simón has said, only unlike he thought, this hate is directed towards myself.

I hate myself for failing, for not sticking to my plans, for not being rational, for not being the best, for not being perfect.

That had to be the reason why love wasn't something I knew, right? Because love is some sort of reward everyone gets but myself. Or so it seems, because no matter how hard I tried, how much I did, it never was enough. I never got it...

It's stupid to say you miss something you never felt, but that's how I felt about love. I missed it, missed the warm feeling it meant, the comfort, the happiness. Because that was love, right? At least that was what everyone around me got...

Even when I was in my best moment, I never had love. My boyfriend loved our reputation, my friends what my name meant, the others envied my image, my status, my life. And my mother, well both of them, they didn't want me as their daughter...

So I guess you can say it was my need for that feeling which got me where I am today: 18 and pregnant. What a nice name for a video for Fab & Chic...
That and the fact that the only person who ever showed me anything close to love, was one of the creators of the little being inside of me...

Talking about him/her... It's a long/short story...

After Luna found out she was Sol Benson, our house, the one in Mexico for now, turned into a second Roller. There were always people coming in and going out. Luna had multiple parties, dinners, lunches, sleepovers and so on and on and on...

So how could you avoid everyone you didn't want to see nor be seen by? How did you avoid seeing him? Answer: you couldn't! You had to see his gorgeous stupid Mexican face everyday. You had to see Luna who all of a sudden turned team Lumon again, being all over him, all day, all the time... It was hugs, it was holding hands, it was songs, it was skating, everything you could imagine, they did together.

It was beyond annoying, it was almost disgusting... For the first time, I didn't mind Lutteo, I wanted it - I craved it. Anything to keep him away from her...

But no...  They were mad and Matteo was the only person who didn't walk around as if he owned the place... Even if he had come here with me before... I guess it really is Karma or Luna isn't as good as everyone thinks.... Because when I was dating Matteo, she had Simón but needed to take Matteo from me. Now that Matteo is head over heels for her, now that I... I want Simón, of course she has feelings for him...

Why, Ámbar? Why? Was the whole universe against me? Not yet... Things could get a little more complicated...

Having Luna and the entire Jam & Roller in my place, specially now that everything had been changed to fulfill the tastes of the poor lost Sol Benson, meant I couldn't stand being there, even breathing that air was enough to disturb me.

So I busied myself with everything I could: went to several competitions with Sliders, had as much trainings as I could with them, reunited with Benicio who I introduced to Emilia, which lead to trio dates for lunches, breakfasts, or whatever...

They had an idea of what I was going through, Emilia didn't approve the fact that I was suffering for a guy, Benicio was still clearly interested in me, but as surprising as it may sound, he respected me and my feelings. Either way, they were always there for me and I couldn't ask for more.

However, the universe wasn't happy with this. So they had to make Benicio go to Italy to reunite with his family, and Emilia be chosen to represent the team in Spain. Result? I was left all alone in a country that wasn't mine, in a house that no longer was mine, with a "family" who couldn't care less about me and people who turned their faces when they saw me.

Big eye roll to the universe.

I was then obligated to spend more time at the mansion. My grandfather was delighted, thinking he could influence the way I dressed, how I was with Luna and her family, not to mention remember me that Luna was suffering a lot with what was happening so I should be nice with her. Sure, suffering... And me? I was just the rebel adopted grandkid...

Having to share all this time with these people meant I had to argue with them more than I wanted. I had my fair amount of arguments with Luna, with Delfina and Jazmin. Then with Simón who had stopped ignoring me to defend his bff. And the next thing I knew, I couldn't even get up and sit on the couch reading my book that I would already have someone there telling how I was such a bad person, pointing every mistake I had ever done.

After those fights, they would go back to the evil stares or simply ignoring me. I tried to distract myself but it wasn't an easy task.

Reading would get very complicated because I couldn't focus. I was never a tv person but wherever there was a tv, one of Lunita's friends was there. And the weather was basically tropical rains every day... so no skating as well.
So my days were filled with boredom, contempt... Void.

Still, things could get worse, way worse. The reason? Luna's (aka Sol) birthday party... Which was mandatory and a whole story itself...