The girl who was everything.

Isha...

Isha..That single syllabled word is the reason for my sleepless nights. Is she alright? Has she settled in? I couldn't stop thinking about her. We've never been apart from each other. When she came and told me that she was going to Canada to study,  I was shocked. I didn't want her to go. I wanted her to stay with me. But I wanted her to be happy. Asking her to stay back would be plain selfishness on my part. So, I told her that I was very happy for her. She told me that we could Skype and that she'll message me everyday. That made me feel a bit better. Last Monday, I dropped her off at the airport. We shared a long hug. I didn't want to cry but I couldn't help myself. She patted my back and said it'll be alright. She told me that she was sorry for leaving me alone and that she will always be there for me. I just smiled and bid adieu. 

Isha and I have been through a lot together. We have known each other since kindergarten. When my mom died, she was the only person who was there for me. My father married again and had a new family. I just didn't fit in. I was an outcast at school too.  I didn't have any social skills and so I didn't have a lot of friends.  I was the weird boy that no one paid any attention too. The only time people wanted me was to help them finish their project or homework. In all this I had one bright spot and that was Isha. I sometimes wonder why she's friends with a person like me. She is beautiful, talented and amazing with people. Why would she be friends with a total weirdo and loser like me? I once asked her this and she replied, " First of all you are not a loser. And secondly, even if you are a weirdo, you're my weirdo and I love you". Huh. It didn't make any sense to me. I was just glad that I had her around. 

And now that my only bright spot has gone, I feel empty. I'm neither happy nor sad. Just empty. I am really happy for her. But at the same time it's tough for me to accept that she's gone. With whom will I watch Harry Potter with, every time I feel sad? Who will I eat butterscotch ice cream with whenever I feel like my world is falling apart? Who will read all the stories I write? Isha is my best friend, sister and parent- all in one. Without her I don't know what I would have done. She was the one who told me that I had it in me to become a writer. She was the one who encouraged me to study literature. She knows everything about me. My first crush, my favourite movies, my mood swings- EVERYTHING. She always knew when I was not feeling alright. She loved me even at the time when I couldn't love myself. I love her and I will never let anything happen to her. But my Isha is miles away.. pursuing her dreams. Is she missing me too? 

I'm waiting for her call. She promised to have a video call with me every Sunday.  Has she forgotten to call me? I should probably call her first, right? Or I'll just wait for a couple more minutes. Maybe she's busy... Ahh there she is! I accept the call and her face appears on my screen. I am grinning like a kid who has eaten candy for the first time. 

"Wassup weirdo?", she asks. " Nothing much..", I reply. She tells me all about her new university and gives me a tour of her dorm. She has a picture of us together on her night stand. I fill her in about my week and what I did in college. She tells me to join the Writer's club and share my work with people. I ask her if she's had any maple syrup yet. lol. I also tell her about this girl I have a crush on at college but I'm too scared to talk to her. We keep talking for an hour. In the end she says, " Good bye weirdo. I miss you. Just go talk to your crush. You'll do fine. If she rejects you, its her loss. We always have butterscotch ice cream to fall back on.  I'll call you next Sunday. Bubyee!" It doesn't matter if you don't talk to your best friend everyday. It doesn't matter if you guys don't spend as much time together as you used to do. It's enough if you know that you will be there for each other no matter how far you are from each other. 

I've understood that change is the only constant. Things will keep changing around you and sometimes you may not like it but it is important to embrace it and move on.  :)