BREAKEVEN

Chapter 8

Topher POV

"Cancel all my meetings today. I got important things to do!"

I said to my secretary as I fixed my things. I know she will do no good. I ain't gonna let her mess up.

"But sir, you will have an urgent meeting with Mrs. Devera today."

"Attend it but tell her that I couldn't make it. Just take note of important things then present it to me tomorrow."

I said then head off to the door immediately. Pumunta nako ng garahe saka sumakay sa kotse. But I used different car so it will not be obvious.

Pumunta ako sa tinitirahan niya and I was waiting there for hours trying to figure out what she's been or will be through for a day.

Don't get me wrong.. I'm doing this for the project. Yes, I need to make sure that she's not doing any mess here.

After hours of waiting, I finally saw her car. Sinasabi ko na nga ba at di prenteng magstay sa bahay tong babaeng to. I know what she had been doing all these years pero ayoko lang siyang lapitan kasi natatakot ako. 'Coz at the very first place, ako ying sumuko at ako yung nag akalang nagsawa. I know she will push me away but I can't help it. Seeing him with other guys every night is like a torture.

Bawat gabi na nakikita ko siya na may kasamang iba at nakikipaghalikan ay parang gusto kong lumipad agad sa Paris at kung nasan man siya para pabalikin siya pero naisip ko, ako naman ang may gusto nun. Yung bawat gabi na makikita ko siya na tumatawa kasama ang iba kahit na screen at pictures lang ay gusto ko nang saktan yung mga lalaking kasama niya. Pero wala akong magawa. I push her away so I don't have all the rights to act this way. It's all my fault.

Seeing the one you love, touched by someone else makes me want to kill. But seeing how someone became miserable for what you did is such a shame. I don't deserve her and the least I can do is to look at her in distance.  I thought, I lost my life when I'm with her but now that she's gone.. it's when I realized that she's my life and I lost her, I lost my life. I lost all the sense of living and it's all my fault.

I closed my fist and gritted my teeth with anger. Galit na galit ako sa sarili ko. Afterall, she's all that I love!

I have a heavy sigh as I follow her car until we reach the building's parking area and as far as I remember, it's CBC TV network. 

No doubt, she's into that guy. Napa higpit ang hawak ko sa manubela as I saw her entering that building. Naghintay ako for a couple of minutes then I saw her....

I saw her with that guy named Dayne Del Franco. They went on the same car. Kaya mas lalo akong nagkukuyos sa galit.

Sinundan ko ang kotse nila saka huminto sa may restaurant at agad silang lumabas na nagtatawanan. At ano naman kaya ang pinag uusapan nila? Damn him for making my woman laughed like that. When it should be!

Pumasok sila sa loob kay agad ko pinark ang kotse saka palihim na pumasok at umupo sa sulok na hindi nila mahalata. I'm 3 tables away from them sa may right side nila at sinadya ko na dun dahil medyo may harang na flower base.

All the time, I'm watching them. I see how that guy stares at her and how she stares at him back. I have never seen her stare at me like that before. Mas gusto ba niya ang lalaking yun? Is she really over me? Kahit kunti man lang? Kahit kunti lang..

"Sir, may I have your order?"

Bigla naman akong napatingin sa waiter at kinuha ang menu saka umorder. Agad naman siyang umalis kaya agad bumalik ang tingin ko kena Sharlene pero wala na sila. They are walking out in the building. Huminga napang ako ng malalim saka napahilamos sa buhok at mukha ko.

Damn.... Hanggang kelan ako sunod ng sunod sayo Sharlene? Hanggang kelan ako magiging ganito? When my heart wants to be with you but my brain says to let you go.

Nakaka gago pag ang utak at puso mo nagtatalo. Hindi mo alam kong san pupunta at ano ang mas paiirilan mo.

I may end up finding myself stuck in asylum.

'Arrrgggggggg'

I brush my hair with frustration. I can't have all the women on earth but I can have the only woman I love!

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