BREAKEVEN

Chapter 20

After so many speculations and issues I have read from newspaper down to social medias posts, I finally made one call for someone I thought would help me.

"Hello? Madz?"

I said immediately when the line is connected.

Mandy was one of the closest friends of mine, I met here at AFT Studio during my first line in modeling career. We were both trying our luck there in modeling internationally hanggang sa pareho kaming nag succeed but she stayed there then I moved to Paris pero connected naman kami at nagkakausap pag bakante.

"Girl please!"

She said as if she is disappointed that I call.

"What? Ayaw mo?"

"Yeah, as if I have a choice!"

she said sarcastically.

"Suplada nito. Bakit ano bang ginagawa mo?"

"Counting the possible chance of getting laid tonight and guess what? You blew that chance away!"

Tang'na babae to walang alam kundi manglandi.

"Gaga. Kawawa naman boyfriend mo ateng pipigain mo na naman?"

Tumawa sya ng bahagya saka nagsalita.

"Excuse me, single na ako at nasa club. I'm doing some dick hunting, ya know!

saka tumawa sya ng bahagya. Ano? Nagbreak na sila? Impossible.

"Oh bakit? Nagbitchy mood ka naman kaya nakipaghiwalay sayo."

"Whatever. Let's stop it here. Oh bakit ka napatawag?"

She said to divert the topic kaya di narin ako nagtanong I know her. She can figure it out on her own. at ako naman ang di kayang mag isa sa problema.

I told her to search the newest updates on internet today and I know exactly that she already see what I want her to see.

"Just please don't shout"

I said automatically before she can even say a word.

"Why can't I? Goodness gracious bitch!"

She said in a low screaming tone.

"First, you can't say goodness with a bitch word. And secondly, I'm already sick of fuzz so please say something pleasant just for the day bitchEST!"

"BitchEST?"

She laughed really hard.

"Yeah. 'coz you are way MORE bitch than I am"

I said sarcastically. This girl really knows how to divert my mood.

"Well anyways, kamusta ka naman? I mean instant celebrity, ganun!"

"MANDY!!! It made me SICK like hell!"

At mas lalo pang lumakas ang tawa nya as if hindi niya feel ang frustration ko.

"Yeah Yeah Yeah. HAHAHA But if I were you gagawa na ako ng Twitter, instagram pari narin ng Tiktok for sure madami agad followers mo. Just put 'official' word on your username HAHAHA"

At tumawa pa sya na akala nya nakakatuwa. ang babaeng to talaga di ko alam kung bakit naging friend ko pa.

"Ewan ko sayo pero ayoko nito. I'm afraid na baka sa susunod na araw makakakita na ako ng meme na may mukha ko. God. Ayoko!"

Halos humikbi na ako pero sya tawang tawa parin.

"If it happens Mag HAHA react talaga ako hahaha"

Mas lumakas pa ang tawa nya this time. Kung nagkataon na katabi ko ang babaeng to. I swear mata lang ang walang lantay ang aabutin nito sakin.

"Gaga kung katabi lang kita. Bubugbugin talaga kita!"

"Yeah. I would like to do the same thing to you. Like hello girl, Sikat na hottie yung nag propose sayo. Kung ako yan, my gosh I will him to my place and explore all his body parts kahit sa singit pa nya."

and she laughed really hard na parang iniimagine pa talaga ang scene na yun.

"Manyak to. Mabuti nalang di ako katulad mo!"

"Pa-virgin te? nakipag one night stand ka nga dati? Remember? HAHAHA"

"Ah eh umm oo pero once lang yun at lasing ako saka naging boyfriend ko naman yun diba?"

I also told her some stuffs way back highschool and college that I think, I might regret. LIKE I TOLD HER EVERYTHING.

"Oo naging boyfriend mo before bago pa nagsawa sayo!"

"ARAY! ang sakit nun huh!"

I acted like I was being stabbed straight to heart.

"Well. That's reality. Truth really hurts. May your heart rest in peace baby!"

At tumawa pa sya ng bahagya.

"Gaga ka. Tama na nga! Nakakasakit kana!"

"Excuse me. You hurt yourself. Move on na kasi. and besides ito na yun oh. Blessing na kaya wag mo ng tanggihan. You know, pain is part of life. Di ka naman mabubuhay ng di nasasaktan. We all learn from past but we should not destroy the present and the future just for the nightmare we had in our past life."

She said seriously so I did not speak a word and continue to listen to her.

"Alam mo ba kung gaano ka kaswerte ngayon? Let's just say that there are MILLION. I said MILLION of girls out there na gumagastos ng libo libo para makakuha ng front seat at nagbabayad para sa meet and greet lang sa hottie na yun? Like hello, you don't even spend a single centavo para pang makita sya dahil sya ang lumalapit at pumupunta sayo. Those girls can even spend thousands para lang maikama yun kung pwede nga lang pero ikaw. Any moment na gusto mo pwede mo ng maskyan yun at mag horse riding kung gusto mo. So WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU STILL HOLDING TO?"

The last words are more likely a shout at medyo na bingi ako.

"Pero di pa ako ready!"

Mahinahong sabi ko. Kaya bumuntong hininga sya at saka nagsalita na tumatatak sa isip ko.

"I know. It is not good to open your heart for someone else lalo na pag alam mong may nagmamay'ari pa nito pero don't hold yourself too much for someone who's not even worth the loyalty and love. Love yourself. Give yourself a chance to be happy and to be loved. Pagalingin mo muna yung sugat mo pero make sure na willing ka kasi di gagaling yan pag binibigyan mo parin ng pag asa kahit alam mong wala na. Accept the truth dahil dun ka lang magiging free."

Bumuntong hininga ako at di namamalayan na tumutulo na ang luha sa mata ko ng di ko namamalayan.

"Hayaan mong maghilom ang sugat dyan pero wag mong patagalin ng sobra dahil baka mapagod yung taong willing na mahalin ka ng sobra."

And that hit me real hard kaya napahagulgol nalang ako. I put my phone and throw myself on the bed.