Oh, You Go Sailing

I want to feel better

I want to feel better
Yes, I know
Everything is going to be fine
If I could just tape my beating heart down
And slow this train of thought
I could convince myself of that
I want to feel better
I do
You telling me I need to try harder
Doesn't help.
I want to feel better
I don't love
Thinking everyone whispering behind a hand
Is talking about me.
I want to feel better
But I don't know how
I don't know why my stomach burns
White hot coils of slimy eels
When I'm trying to fall asleep
Or why I remember tripping across the street
In high school when I can't remember my prom.
I want to feel better
But most days I don't
I could ask you to understand
But you won't
I don't understand myself.
I want you to be patient
I don't want you to leave
But in my mind, you've already done the worst
So you might as well do what you please