§LÄVÈ

S L A V E ~ 23

Issac Pierce above ^

Catalina

I laid there, my vision filled with tears as I was given all this information that I was not prepared for — I do not believe I would of ever been prepared to learn these things — if I was being completely honest.

In the space of a few hours, I gained a mother, a grandfather, a brother... it is all very overwhelming to say the least. & learning that my grandmother died when I was fifteen, made it no easier even though I figured more than less that she was not alive. My mind at this point, was completely blank as various emotions soared through my veins. This is overwhelming.

"I can only imagine the pain that you must be going through right now. I—I completely understand.." my mother trailed off as she took hold of my hands. All I could do was stare at her, "and Issac and I will do everything in our power to give you a better life than before — if you need time... anything"
I glanced at my grandfather, and immediately I saw the man that helped my mother to create me. I got so used to the thought of not being wanted by a father — especially one that is white — that I almost envisioned myself being the daughter of a black man. & I refuse to be prejudice, but in a world like this, it is quite hard miss. Quite hard to miss the reality in which I am forced to live. A black father ... I wish it were true, but to hear that my daddy's a duke is like my hand stuck to glue — bounded by a substance that sticks and eventually becomes a part of me even though I try so hard for it not to be... what do I do?

This made me feel that much more alone— it emphasized the fact in my mind that I would continue to be fatherless, but in reality he's not dead, he is just forbidden to have a seed with the color of my skin. My head on a platter they say, if things don't go their way. Is it worth it?

I must've asked that question out loud because the next thing I heard was my grandfather's concern voice, "is what worth it, sweetheart?"

I took a deep breath, moistening my lips before speaking, "meeting my father. I—I have already met him and he did not acknowledge that I am his daughter. I do not know him, and he did not seem to know me" I said, my voice barely audible.

"Charles loves you, Catalina. He was probably shocked seeing you there, he—"

"how so? how are you so sure of this love that you speak of, mother? I have been on my own since I was seven! and if he really cared about me..." I interrupted, struggling to keep my tears at bay as I trailed off, "he would of defied all else to be there for me"

"listen to me Catalina" Issac spoke as he stood closer to me, and slightly placed a hand on my cheek, "your father loves you, he does, but sometimes in life parents have choices to make that they see fit to be in the best interest of their children. I beg you not to persecute him until you hear his side of the story, please my darling"

My gaze fell when he removed his hand from my cheek and I allowed the tears to fall. I felt hopeless. With all these new information, with everything that I was being told, made me feel sick to my stomach — almost as sick as I felt last night at Royals dinner. I shook my head as the tears began to build at my eyes yet again,

"sweetheart, I know this is hard. I'm sorry that you are going through this, I wish things were different... I—"

"I feel sick" I muttered, but my voice was audible enough for them to her. My mother's expression them changed to one of concern as she wiped my tears, "you feel sick? how so?" she asked, placing the back of her hand on my forehead, "you don't feel hot" she stated.

I took a deep breath, gulping, slightly wincing at the pain that I felt within me, "my stomach—" I clenched my jaws, "—it has been paining me since the night before. I do not know why"