Confused Love (A Jaden and Eily Story)

30. Getting Help

Jaden's Pov

I walked into the doctor's office and sat in a chair infront of his desk. He turned and looked at me from his seat.

Doctor: Jaden Delarosa?
Me: Yes.
Doctor: Pleased to meet you! I'm Therapist Doctor Towns!
Me: Nice to me you to.
Doctor: So we'll go on ahead and start. So can you confirm that you feel you have suicidal thoughts, depression issues, and anger issues?
Me: Yes, except the anger issues, I rarely have that anymore. I sometimes have slight attitudes.
Doctor: Ok, so tell me, all the things that you think causes these depressed feelings.

My eyes started getting watery.

Doctor: It's ok, take your time.
Me: ..... Well, It started when my father died because of an heart attack. You know he was the real one, he was always in my life, but then died so suddenly.

Tears started coming out my eyes.

Doctor: It's ok.
Me: When he died, all I had left to look up to was my brother. He was there for me all the time. Then, one day, we received a call that he was killed in a fatal car accident.
Doctor: Ahh man.
Me: When he died, all I had left was my bestfriend, my mom, and my ex.
Me and my ex were gonna hit a year in a few more weeks, but that didn't happen. She cheated on me, with my bestfriend, and now both of them are living a perfect life, like they ain't do nothing wrong.
Doctor: That's very tragic to hear Jaden.
Me: Basically, Throughout all of this, I was on and off about thinking about to attempt suicide. But it was this girl, that kind of somewhat saved me from my suicidal thoughts and other issues. But it just hurts when I think about her, because I personally hurt her.
Doctor: What about the girl is so special?
Me: This girl's name is Eily Imolehin. She's just so beautiful, she doesn't do anything to anyone as long as no one does anything to her. She's always been there for me, ever since I met her. She's just my everything.
Doctor: And how did you hurt her Jaden?
Me: Well it was earlier today at school. We were already arguing about something, but I was making it a big deal. Anyways, it was this girl who I met earlier in the day, we talked and traded numbers. Later that day, we met by an empty classroom, we talked some more, then the next thing you know, we were kissing.
Doctor: And why did you keep doing this Jaden?
Me: I-I don't know. Well, at the moment, it felt like I was kissing Eily. I haven't been able to have a really good kiss in a while. So, I just kept kissing her, and kissing her, and touching her, but then I realized, I wasn't actually doing anything with Eily, I'm doing it with a whole nother girl.
Doctor: Buddy, you can't be doing this out here.
Me: I know, I didn't mean it.
Doctor: It sounds like you meant that kiss my friend.
Me: I know, but- later Eily found out about how me and the girl were talking, but she didn't know about the kiss. So things started to get worse.
Doctor: Then what?
Me: I called Eily and told her that I kissed another girl for a while, and all things went down hill from there. I think she might even hate me now
Doctor: Ok, here the problem. If you really loved this girl, why would you do all these things to make her feel like this.
Me: I don't know
Doctor: If your father or brother was around, do you think they would've agreed with these actions.
Me: I don't know
Doctor: Jaden look at , fight the suicidal thoughts.

I looked up at him.

Me: I don't know if I can...
.....
Doctor: Alright Jaden, I'm gonna prescribe you with some medicine to help with this. You can leave now. I'll see you tomorrow.

I walked out then back to the car.

Mom: Jaden, so how was it ? 😊
Me: I just wanna go home.
Mom: Alright.

We went home. It was now 7:30 pm.

Mom: I'll be in my room if you need me.

She walked off.

I looked in the kitchen drawer and took out a knife, then walked into the bathroom, and locked it. I tried to call Eily twice, but she didn't answer. I tried to call Lexus, she didn't answer neither.

Fuck it, maybe it's better off if I'm dead.

I unzipped my jacket, I didn't have on a shirt, so I just held the knife in between the opening of the jacket.

Goodbye everyone, It's better this way.

I hurried and stabbed myself, then fell to the ground loudly, landing on my knees kneeling. I started getting dizzy and hearing my mom knock on the door trying to get in, yelling my name.

Fuck life.

Eily's Pov

I didn't want to talk to Jaden right now. I was mad at him, I didn't want to see him, nothing. I don't want to see him at school tomorrow. I just can't.