Escaping His Past (Naruto/Akatsuki FF)

Chapter 38: Fear of Loving You

Eita's POV

Evening passed quickly as it was nightfall. I had my face buried in my pillow, enjoying the peace and quiet, but I couldn't fall asleep. The silence was a bit blissful until Inari spoke up. "Don't you think you were a bit harsh to him?" She asked.

"That was harsh? Yeah, right." I mumbled into my pillow. "You might've hurt Itachi's feelings, Eita." Inari said. "He's a cold-blooded killer. He killed his entire clan. I doubt the guy had feelings." I argued.

"He confessed to you, and you just rejected him without showing a hint of sympathy. How do you think that makes him feel? Think about it. Nobody's ever showed you affection in this base except him and Konan. They do their best to try and cheer you up, but all you do is either push them away or snap at them." She argued back.

"Even if I do accept his feelings and love him back, I'll just end up losing him, anyway, right?" I said. "Even if you might end up losing him in the future, at least you'll have him until the end, right?" Inari replied.

I turned my head to the side and thought about her words. "You're right. At least, I'll have him until the end," I said, sitting up. "Maybe I was a bit too hard on him. "So, what should I do?"

"Go talk to him, and apologize to him." Inari advised. "Right now? But what if he's asleep?" I asked. "Still doesn't hurt to check." She said. "Okay, okay." I said as I got out of bed. 

I headed down the hall, walking towrds Itachi's room. "Itachi... It's me, Eita. Can I come in?" I asked, knocking on his door. I didn't hear a reply. "Itachi?" I knocked again. "I'm coming in, okay?"

I opened the door and walked into his room. I spotted Itachi lying on his bed with his back facing me. "Itachi?" I called quietly. Is he sleeping? I walked over to him as the door closed behind me and sat down beside him.

I froze when he rolled on his back. 'Wow... He's pretty handsome when he's sleeping.' I thought. My heart rate started to increase a bit the more I continued to watch him sleep. That sounds a bit creepy, doesn't it?

I hesitantly leaned towards him until I was gently kissing his lips. A few seconds later, I broke the kiss, then gasped when I saw Itachi's eyes were open. Now, I know I'm in trouble. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to wake up!" I apologized quickly.

I went to leave until Itachi grabbed my wrist. "I didn't say you could leave yet." He said, calmly. I gasped when he pulled me down on the bed, then pinned me down. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to wake you up!" I explained.

"I'm not mad at you, Eita. But I am wondering what you're doing here in the first place. Surely, you didn't come here just to kiss me. Or were you planning on doing something else?" He asked, frowning slightly.

"No! I wasn't planning anything at all!" I objected. "Then, why are you here?" Itachi asked. "I... I wanted to talk to you." I mumbled while looking off to the side.

"What for? You made it perfectly clear that you despise me."

"I don't... I didn't mean to say that. I was just..."

"Look at me when you're speaking to me."

I obediently turned my head and looked at him. "Good. Now, continue." He said. I gulped and nodded my head before starting to speak again. "First off, I want to apologize for snapping at you earlier." I said. 

"Is that all?" He asked, unamused. "No, not really. There's more. I want to tell you the real reason why I couldnt accept your feelings before. The reason why I rejected you before was because... I was scared." I admitted. "You were scared? Scared of what?" He asked.

"Of... losing you," I mumbled. It was embarrassing with I said it out loud. "Eventually, Sasuke will get his revenge for what you did to your clan, and then when that happens, I'll lose you... and I'll be alone again. That's why I'm afraid to love..." I confessed.

I tilted my head down so my hair covered my eyes as I felt Itachi's grip on me loosen a bit. "Eita, look at me." He said. "No..." I mumbled.

"Eita." He ordered. "No." I repeated. But I was forced to look at him anyway as he gently grabbed under my face and made me look at me. "You're crying..." He said, noticing the tears streaming down my face.

"Why are you crying?" Itachi asked, softly. "Because I'm scared, alright! I'm scared! I'm scared of losing you and anyone close to me!" I snapped.

"I've lost my parents and my sister... Ever since they died, I've been feeling nothing but fear of losing and loving the ones I care about you. That's why... It's hard for me to love you back... knowing you're going to be killed someday by your own flesh and blood."

I took my face out of his hold and lowered my head. "If you're that worried about me going away so soon, then let me enjoy the rest of the time I have here with you," Itachi said. "Don't think about the future. Think about here and now."

Itachi gently kissed my neck and I tilted my head up slightly. "No, Itachi... Don't..." I whispered. My breath hitched in my throat when he licked under my chin.

"Don't..." I repeated as I turned my head to the side. "Eita, I don't want you as my slave... but as my lover." Itachi admitted as he sat up. "Lover?" I repeated, looking at him, in which he nodded. "I... I don't know..." I said, hesitantly.

"Then, let me ask you something: Do you love me as your master, or as me, Itachi Uchiha." I gulped and opened my mouth to speak. "I... love you. I love you, Itachi Uchiha, for the person you are." I confessed. 

"And is that the truth?" Itachi asked. "Yes, it's the truth." I said, honestly. A smile slowly appeared on his face before a small chuckled escaped his throat.

"I'm glad you said that. That... really makes me happy. You have no idea how long I've waited for you to say those words, Eita." Itachi said. 

He hugged me close to him and I hugged him back. "And now that you're mine..." I blushed when he kissed my cheek. "I'm never letting you go." He said. 

"Even... Even if I'm... you know... a masochist?" I asked, embarrassed. "I don't care about that. As long as I have you, I'm happy." Itachi replied. I gave him a small smile before kissing him, in which he kissed back, happily.