The longing for you, The ending of us.

nirvana

I take over the spot where he was sleeping once he leaves because his smell lingers and it smells like home .

It smells like the home I never knew I missed. Until I found that i constantly missed him. 

His smell reminds me why everything is worth it .

Why waiting is worth it .

Why hurting is worth it .

Why loving him more then he loves me is worth it.

He's worth it.

Every single time he's worth it.

No matter what he will always be worth it.

His smell reminds me of the first time I saw him again.

And something in me knew that loving him was the right thing to do.

I wish he understood what it was like, what its like to know how much I could care for him in ways he couldn't imagine.

I wish he knew.

I wish he understood.

That loving him is the best damn decision I have ever made.

And even if he never ends up loving me.

Loving him with everything I had is something I can say I did.

It's something I can say I took the chance at. Because loving him,

fuck loving him is like looking up at a sky full of stars and having that amazing feeling in your tummy remembering why you are on earth.

why you are placed here, why the stars are placed here and why they align so perfectly in patterns no one ever knew possible.

Loving him is looking out into a crowd of people and hoping to find him, hoping to find his face in every single person every single time and when you do it's like Nirvana.

Loving him is exactly like that.

Loving him is that high you never get tired of, the one you never want to come down from.

The one you want to stay in forever because it's too good to be true.

Loving him is so much more then anyone could imagine.

I got that chance and it's something I never want to ever give up.