The longing for you, The ending of us.

the end.

So here I am officially ending the chapter I started almost exactly a year ago. So, I leave you with this... I'm sorry, I will always be sorry. I'm sorry that maybe at a different time or maybe in a different life things would have been different. I'm sorry that I'm leaving you behind but before I go, I need you to know this book was for you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, or wise enough, or pretty enough. I'm sorry that sometimes you love someone too much or not at all and that was the epitome of our story. As I am sorry and as much as this chapter has hurt, it brought just as much love. I just want to thank you for making me realize loving myself is and always will be my first priority. Thank you for showing me the parts I always hated, but also for the new parts I never knew existed. Thank you for helping me remember they're all beautiful. Thank you for testing my patience, it made me come back stronger over and over again. Many would never thank someone for not loving them but in you not loving me, I learned to love myself. In you not loving me I produced this. In you not loving me I remembered what it felt like to be alone even when you had someone lying right next to you. It made me remember that I promised myself I would never go through that again, that I would never be left out of something that was supposed to be a partnership. So yes, I thank you for not loving me, because I was able to relate to so many people who thought they too were alone. I was able to bring my dream to life, I was able to write some of my favorite pieces. I was able to realize I deserved more, and the funny thing is you always told me that... I guess I should have listened.