The longing for you, The ending of us.

She isn't the epitome of a woman

I'm sorry that she neglected to ever give you the love you deserved.
I'm sorry that she used your amazingly big heart to her advantage every single fucking time she had the chance.
I'm sorry she took your mind and played games every night and not the ones you liked to play.
I'm sorry that when she had your heart, she scratched her name so deep into the surface it started to become like an old CD.
The same old words on repeat.
I'm sorry her heart was never really in it, that from the beginning you weren't her first choice. God, she didn't deserve you.
I'm sorry that now you have walls so damn high even the drugs can't seem to bring them down. I'm sorry it's resulted to substances to even start to get you to feel something.
I'm sorry that she didn't look at you and realize what she had sitting in front of her for years. I'm sorry.
I have no words other then I'm sorry.
I hope one day you'll realize we aren't all like her.
I hope one day you'll realize that you can make someone smile just by looking at them and everything just feels right.
I hope one day you realize that the way you can make someone laugh even when all they want to do is cry is something truly incredible.
And I'm not sure how you do it, but I hope you realize how you can make someone feel safe even when they're miles away from home...
I guess maybe in a sense you become a safe haven.
I hope you realize you don't have to take care of everyone else, that not everyone will expect you to bend over backwards.
There's someone who can take care of and love you too and not in a way to make you feel incompetent but in a way to help heal the wounds she so clearly inflicted.
I hope you realize you can give your heart to someone who scares you someone who brings in something new.
They're not always going to be like her... I can promise you that.
But there's something you need to know, you have to stop holding back. From the things that excite you the things that make you scared to death. Because the truth is, she isn't the epitome of a woman.
I hope one day you realize that.