The Savanna Theory of Happiness

Chapter 15

Five o'clock nang umaga nang lumapag kami sa Mangareva.

"Wiw. Gusto ko pa sana mag-ikot tayo." Nakatulala lang ako habang tinutulak niya ang wheelchair ko. This time ay may chaperone kaming kasama na hindi ko alam kung saan niya nakuha. "But we have a boat to catch. Otherwise, maghihintay pa tayo ng tatlong buwan para makapuntang Pitcairn."

This man is a psycho killer. How the hell would I go home?

"Pinauna ko na mga gamit natin para makapamili tayo ng supplies. 32 hours kasi ang byahe."

"Lukas, I'm going home," I finally said, mustering all the courage I had.

Tumigil siya sa pagtulak. I wanted to see his face but at the same time, natatakot din ako sa makikita ko.

"Are you sure? Mukhang masaya ka naman no'ng mga nakaraang araw."

"I don't need to reach the end of the journey to know what I want or don't," I abruptly answered, sounding like a bitch. Samantalang siya e parang sobrang concerned.

He deserves an acting award.

"My dad needs me," dagdag ko saka tumayo. Hindi naman siya nag-react doon.

"Pa'no mo nasabi?"

"Hope texted me."

"Hope?" He tilted his head in confusion. And when realization hit him, his mouth formed a small 'o'. "About that, may kailangan kang malaman, Savanna."

"You can't convince me to stay, Luke."

"I know." Again, he sported that dark look he had when he was fighting with Archer. Naalala ko na naman tuloy ang mga paalala ng ex ko. "But you deserve to know."

Know what? Bilang thank you, I'll tell you how it is I noticed you. His words echoed inside my head.

I had the sudden urge to run away. Pero hindi ko kaya. Not because my legs are still wobbly, but because I feel heavy. My heart, my stomach, it's all flipping in the wrong way.

"Hope isn't real, Savanna."

With those four words, my world crashed.

"But it's okay. You'll be okay. Kailangan mo lang ng tulong."

I stepped backwards but I stumbled. I landed on my ass but felt no pain there.

Pero hindi ako makahinga. My mind is blank. It crashed while I was trying to process what he said.

"Nung nakita kita sa hallway na sumisigaw, I started to observe you. Do'n ko napansin na may mali. I wanted to help pero alam ko namang hindi ka papayag. Although I'm not really sure what I'm doing either." He let out a weak, forced laugh, then nervously ran his fingers through his wild hair.

Inabot niya ang kamay niya sa akin nang wala akong reaksyon but I slapped it away.

That's right. He's crazy. A killer. He'll say anything.

I rose to my feet on my own.

Pero hindi pa rin ako mapalagay. Nagfa-flashback lahat sa isip ko ang mga panahong kasama ko si Hope.

Nangilid ang mga luha sa mata ko.

She's been with me since the break up. Paano ako makararamdam ng annoyance sa presensya niya kung hindi siya totoo?

"I'm still leaving." My voice was coarse.

"Gusto ko lang tumulong, Savanna. I'm sorry."

"Unfortunately, you didn't do a very good job," I exclaimed. I'm losing control again. My feet wanted to run.

Pero ayoko nang tumakbo sa katotohanan.

"I just thought... I just wanted you to see that there are people who care. The most important factor in happiness is good relationships. Quality relationships. In fact, the savanna theory of happiness clearly states the same thing. It never was the quantity of people you acquaint yourself to. 'Cause definitely, the more of them are, the more likely you'll be disappointed. Pero kung kaunti lang yet it is a healthy relationship you have with others, you'll be satisfied.

I hoped that I would be enough. Ang problema ay nasa iyo. You look at life so bleakly. You ignore those who want to help. You make yourself so miserable thinking that that way, it couldn't get any worse. Even now, you can't accept the fact the the only friend you had was an imagina—"

My hand met his cheeks. This scene is familiar. We gained an audience. Luckily, only few.

"I'm not a freakin' science project, Lukas! My emotions are real! My pain is real! And you don't get to decide what fixes me!" And this time, the tears threatening to fall had failed me as they flowed from my eyes.

Yet again, I was surprised. Mula sa init ng galit ay napalitan ng init ni Lukas ang pakiramdam ko nang yakapin niya ako. But I wouldn't stop crying. I can't. This is just... too much.

We collapsed back to the ground. Maybe I really do belong here. Bakit ba kasi hindi ko magawang tapusin na lang ang letseng buhay na 'to?

"I'm sorry. I'll bring you home. And thank you for being here when I needed you most."