Her Secret

twenty | anger

A/N: Hey guys! I have a little break in between my exams and needed to do anything except for studying, so here I am! My last exam is Wednesday so I should be updating pretty regularly in the summer, depending on work and what not, but we'll get there when we get there!

In the mean time enjoy! (And ps. thank you guys for the support! I've been getting more reads, votes, and comments and it makes me so happy that you guys are enjoying!)

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It's been a couple of weeks of my chemotherapy, and I should have seen therapy coming back into my life again but I had completely forgotten about it.

I'm back sitting across from Dr. Lanil, or Sophia, as she now wants me to call her, and I can't help but feel exhausted. Chemotherapy is incredibly taxing, and therapy is not what I need right now. I heard Dylan trying to talk my parents out of today's session but they wouldn't budge. I understand they're trying to help, but I can't say that this is.

"So, Leena" Sophia starts as she taps her pen aggravatingly on her notepad, that damn notepad that holds all of the information she thinks she knows. "I heard you went on a trip recently."

"I did." I blandly reply with a face of boredom. The thought of giving her anything useful to write on that notepad irked me beyond belief.

"And how was it?" Sophia asks as she studies me. Don't give anything away, Leena. She doesn't know you. "Did you have fun?" She continued.

"Yes."

"You went with your friend Zach, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Can you describe the trip for me in 3 words?"

"No."

"And why not?" Sophia asked as she continued to annoyingly studied me. 

Grinding my teeth together I tried to calm myself down, but I had just about run out of patience. "Because I'm tired." I tensely answer. "Because a nap would be a hell of a lot more useful to me right now, and because I don't need to describe my trip to you to know how I feel about it."

And it's true. That trip with Zach means everything to me, and it got me to open up to someone for the first time in a while. I felt as though I could breath again while I was away. It felt normal, and it made me happy.

"Leena," Sophia sighed as she took her glasses off and stared at me with a serious and defeated expression. "I can't help you if you don't let me."

"How are you going to help me?" I condescendingly ask, I have officially been maxed out and no matter how rude I recognize I'm being, I can't stop myself.

"How in the hell are you going to help me come to terms with this? What do you think will help me? Hope? Because I can tell you right now you're never going to get me there. I am getting by, and that's all anybody should be asking of me right now. The fact that everyone is prancing around and acting as though I shouldn't let this get to me and I should be happy in spite of this pisses me off maybe more than these therapy sessions."

"Alright." Sophia said after a few seconds of silence as she let out a breath. She got up out of her chair and moved around to the back of her desk as she said "Your mother booked you in for two hours, meaning we have an hour and a half left. Talking obviously isn't helping, I can see how tired you are so you're going to nap."

I was at a loss for words as she stepped in front of me with a pillow and blanket and handed them to me. She moved to leave the room and I was still at a loss for words. A nap?

She had just opened the door and was about to turn off the lights when she spoke again. "And, Leena?" She said, bringing me out of my state of shock to look at her face that held kindness and a new determination I had yet to see on her before.