Love Yourself First | BTS FF

1 - new school

Your footsteps echo off the beige walls in the empty hallway as you stomp your way to the nearest bathroom, your vision blurry like looking through translucent glass as you try your best to swallow the lump forming in your throat.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. This wasn't the school life you signed up for. You were supposed to get good grades this year, and focus solely on your studies. You never factored in the appearance of these 7 guys in your life; you never could have predicted how they were going to change you.

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<1st person POV>

It's morning. You know how I know that? Because of that damned uninvited sunlight creeping into the corners of my room, and the taste of sour saliva in my mouth.

Look to the night stand. Grab my phone. Time reads 6:18. I've woken up 42 minutes before my alarm clock. Isn't that always the case when you have something to be anxious about awaiting your arrival in the next day? Except I'm not anxious, because I'm ready. I'm ready to meet all new faces, to get serious about improving my grades. It's sophomore year in high school, and I can't wait. And trust me, I'm not anxious.

My family moved to Korea after my brother returned back home from his studies abroad in America.

My whole family relocated after my parents separated. Not ever having an obvious presence in my brother and mine's life, our dad left and my mom took full custody of both of us.

I push myself up off the bed and rub my eyes, adjusting to the morning light. I slip my feet into my trusty fluffy slippers. They used to be fluffier I think, but it seems almost flat now. Wonder why that is.

After checking up on social media (hey I got 4 likes on my last selfie, nice) and playing random games for a while, I force myself to get up. I slump my way to the bathroom. Repeat the usual routine: brush hair, wash face, contemplate whether or not I should brush my teeth, decide I'm too lazy and gurgle and spit some water (just enough to get rid of that stank), hate my skin, put on lotion, make dumb faces in the mirror, poke my double chin, sigh at myself, and leave to get dressed.

As I'm pulling up the dress skirt in the new uniform, I scrunch my eyebrows at how it's fitting. It squeezes my abdomen in a way that it's uncomfortable, but not so much that it's unbearable. Did we get the right size? I look at the size tag. Grimace at that all too familiar L.

"Yo sis!! Hurry up!" I hear my brother call. "Coming!" I yell back. I give myself a once over in the mirror. Blazer, skirt, white dress shirt underneath, black stockings, and me staring back at myself. I give myself a pity smile and head to the kitchen.

"Good morning Mom! Big bro." I say. "Yah, why are you always so late. I thought maybe being at a new school you'd change your sleeping-in habits. We shouldn't be late on the first day." My brother Joe says. He tells everyone to call him by his new English name since he wants to be cooler or something. I think it's pretentious of him.

"Sorry bro~ I'll try to be earlier tomorrow. Ah, look at you though, I think we got too tight of a shirt for you, seriously you look like you're about to pop!!" I say, gesturing to his uniform squeezing his biceps.

"Pftt it's fine. This way girls can see my muscles and like me." Joe jokes, flexing his arms. "My son can get any girl he wants, you don't even need to show off your muscles." my mom says, stroking Joe's head, giving him a kind smile.

"Here's your breakfast." She says as she hands me a fabric bag hastily while still looking at Joe; I almost stumble at the force and awkwardly take the bag. "Thanks mom!" I smile brightly holding the bag in both hands. "I packed you your usual." She says with blank eyes. "Two ham and mayonnaise sandwiches? Yay!"

As my smile lingers on my face, still thinking about my sweet delicious breakfast, my mom snaps me out of my trance. "I told you not to smile with your teeth! Do you want the whole world to see those crookedness?" She says, pointing at my now closed mouth. "Moom!!!" I whine at her.

Joe and I step out of the house, waving good bye to mom. We step into our car with our driver waiting inside. "Seriously sis, please be earlier tomorrow." "I'll try~" I say, knowing nothing will change.

As we arrive to the school's front gate I look out the window, noticing the crowd of students. They've all arrived in private cars. Even from inside the car, I can tell how much makeup all the girls are wearing, and how much time they must've spent this morning getting their hair done. Not to mention their skirts are way too short! One swift blow of wind and everything would be exposed!

I look down at my uniform, wiping off a few bread crumbs from breakfast and sigh. I feel so out of place with them.

Of course, the guys didn't seem to have put in as much effort for their appearance as the girls. Their good looks is everything they need to get ready in the morning. Seriously, is everyone in this school a super model or something?

A particular group of guys catch my attention...they seem to have everyone's attention too, they're standing at the center of all the student buzz.

They have dyed hair, and wear their uniforms casually, like they've just slept in it. The white dress shirts they have on aren't buttoned all the way to the top, and they seem to have on their own clothes under it.

Looks like they're the hot-shot of this school. Girls wanna be with them and guys wanna be them. Not kidding, I saw a few guys see them and start to unbutton their own dress shirts and mess up their hair. Not to mention the countless girls who were flaunting themselves at the group. Among them is....JUN JI-HYUN??

My best friend from middle school? What's she doing here? I haven't seen her in ages! I haven't talked to her since she ghosted me after I changed schools in 8th grade. Wow she looks great. She lost weight, and gained it back in hair and muscles. She's hella fit now!

"We've arrived Joe." "Thank you ajeossi!" my brother says to our driver. As I go to get out of the car, suddenly the car starts to move. "Ajeossi! I haven't gotten out yet." I say, worried that he'd take me back home. "Oh! Sorry Y/N, I forgot you were here." He chuckles. I fake a laugh to cover up the fact that our loyal family driver of 7 years just forgot my existence entirely.

As I get out of the car, everyone becomes silent and all turn their heads to me. As I walk through the crowd they start whispering to each other, and one of the boys from the group comes toward me and takes my hand! He leans up really close to me, and then........just kidding that didn't happen. Nothing happened. Why would anyone notice me? They just continued with their socializing, of course.

All I ever am is an extra in a movie.

As I go closer to the cluster of students, I see that one of the popular boys has his arm around Ji-hyun. They're laughing away, and they seriously look gorgeous together. They could both model. I start to drift off, day dreaming about what it would look like if they were together on a Vogue cover or something...

Ring ring ring!!! Oh! That must be the school bell. As the students start walking away to class, I shout and wave at Ji-hyun. "JIJI!!! Hey Jiji!!" I say, frantically waving my arms, not caring about my arm fat jiggle.

I get both their attention.

She looks at me and scoffs, then continues to walk away...what the hell???

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Hey! This is the author from more current times (it's April 12th 2019 and BTS just dropped their Boy With Love MV!) first of all I want to thank you for tapping on this story and giving it a read! I wrote this first chapter when I was still 15-ish in senior year of high school. I edited the first half, but the second half is still my poor writing from a while ago, so if you're cringed out by it like me pls don't think the remaining chapters are like this! My writing has gotten way better since then, so I hope you stick with the book!
Just FYI, the next one or two chapters are still in the poor writing bc I haven't gotten around to rewriting them so they're less cringe, the ones later are much better written in my opinion.