Love Yourself First | BTS FF

15 - slushie

Um... Jimin thinks. I was not expecting that response.

"Legit though, is someone making you act like this? Did you meet someone? You haven't been yourself man." Taehyung continues.

Not wanting to start a stupid argument, Jimin ventures to seek the source of Taehyung's thinking.

"Why are you so against her again?"

Taehyung sighs and his shoulders slump.

"Don't say it's because she took your spot next to JK, you guys hang out all the time it probably doesn't even make a diff—"

"It's not about that," Taehyung annoyingly cuts Jimin off. "That was stupid it doesn't even really matter."

Jimin takes a deep breath and prepares himself for Taehyung's real explanation.

"It's just that...like it's not even a specific thing it's just kind of general." Taehyung's head moves from side to side as his eyes dart around the convenience store aisle, thinking about how he should explain his philosophy to his friend. "Like I'm not a bad person, you know me." Jimin raises his eyebrows in doubt. "Dude." Taehyung says. "We've all done stuff, don't make me bring up your dirty laundry." Jimin shrugs in agreement. "I'm just saying, just because I've done questionable things in the past that doesn't make me a bad person."

Jimin gestures for Taehyung to go on.

"How I feel about her is not any different from how I feel about anyone like her. She's not special, it's just so happens that someone like her is now in our lives.

"I'm not trying to be mean or anything, and I'm not saying I, like, care for her or anything because I don't. I more like pity her I guess. I don't want to see someone like that out and about, because it just makes me think about how sad their life probably is.

"I guess the bottom line is, someone who doesn't know how to take care of themselves isn't worth my time. And me being "against her" or whatever you want to call it is really a form of tough love..except it doesn't come from a place of love because I don't care about her."

Taehyung pauses and takes in a deep breath.

"I guess that's really it. Someone who looks like they don't take care of themselves is more likely to be lazy and I look down on lazy people, not because I want to feel superior, but because in the long-run I may be doing some good for them."

Jimin looks a mix of relief and concern.

He's not necessarily shocked by Taehyung's reasoning, it was almost like looking into a mirror of his past self, if his past self was able to coherently put into words why he had pure hatred for anyone different to him.

It's strange because for him he wasn't really sure why exactly he felt that it was okay to treat people like that; it was mostly unreasonable thinking that he just followed mindlessly for years, not really knowing why. However, Taehyung sounded like he put actual effort into his way of thinking. It's a bit disheartening actually.

"Okay." Jimin finally says after several seconds of silence between them. "I think I understand. I don't think it's right, but I understand."

Taehyung looks Jimin up and down. "Okay," he says hesitantly.

"Do you like her or something? Because I know a lot of girls I can hook you up wi—"