No More Golden Days

Chapter 10

Dan's Pov.........

    We arrive at the hospital and Phil is taken out of the back. He lays on a stretcher and his face is pale. My hand is released from his as his hand falls lifelessly next to him. The medics push him through the doors as enters the same hospital my mom is in. I start to feel sick as I look up at the towering hospital displayed before me. I think to myself that I couldn't go in there, be in her presence again, to be in the same parking lot that Jason kissed me in, but I have to do it, for Phil's sake.

    I stand in the same place for a while longer before pulling myself through the emergency entrance doors. I couldn't find Phil went I went inside so I assumed he was already getting settled in. I haven't spoke or heard from Phil's parents but they were gone when I arrived at Phil's, so they probably don't know. I want to call them, explain to them what happened, but I don't know how they will react. What if Phil dies? I can't just forebode what may happen to him, but I can't help it.

    I slowly make my way to the desk, instantly recognizing the interior from when my mom was here, but she is still here. I remember certain details from this place, it's like a bullet dug into my head,  seeing things and directly knowing where they were and what the were. I have only been here once but for some reason it feels like I have been here forever. I can't remember any times I have been here, but it surely seems like I have.

The lady at the desk tells me I have to wait. I turn away from her and go over to sit in one of the standard blue cushioned chairs, although they are extremely uncomfortable. I end up sitting in the same seat from the one night I was here and I felt a chill go through me. The thoughts and anxiety rushes through me.  My heart immediately speeds up, yet I haven't done anything. I can't continue sitting here with my head spinning so I get up and change seats.

Once i've decently calmed myself down and I can breath I text Phil's parents, letting them know he's here. I get an instant reply, saying there coming. I can't seem to pinpoint exactly how they'll react, seeing as I've never met them before. Will they be like my mom is, or somewhat caring, maybe even understand. But I can't get myself to think that they are going to be good about this, that they are going to understand why their son tried to kill himself.

They are going to think it's my fault. That all of this was me. They will hate me, because of what Phil has done to himself. For some reason, I agree with myself. This was my fault after all, but how? Will they think it was me? I was the first person to be contacted when Phil tried to commit. But wait, why did Phil do this? These thoughts continue to rush through my head, so I don't notice when Phil's parents walk in and take a seat next to me.

I am in shock, I can't move or speak as a single tear makes its way down my face. His parents must have noticed, because a second later I can feel arms wrap around me. Phil's mom was hugging me and it felt nice, comforting in a way. The thoughts seem to slow down as she continues to hug me, and soon I hug back, but I am sobbing. I am crying because of Phil, but also because Phil's parents didn't ignore me. I finally am feeling like I belong at least somewhere because they actually acknowledged that I was there.

I felt embarrassed, crying in front of them, but I wasn't the only one.  One of the nurses comes out and addresses Phil's name and we all stand up. Phil's parents make their way forward but I stay back. They look back at me, expecting me to come along, but I can't. I signal for them to go ahead so that I could leave. I could feel tears still running down my cheeks as they continue to look at me, almost inspecting me.

His mom asks me if I was sure, and I most certainly was. If Phil was awake I didn't want to been seen like this, disheveled hair, red puffy eyes with tears running down my face, I looked miserable, and Phil didn't need that. Phil's parents seemed worried but they let me go eventually.