No More Golden Days

Chapter 19

Dan's Pov.........

"I don't know what happened, one minute I was fine, and the next thing you know I'm having an anxiety attack for no reason. I went for a walk and when I passed your house, no one was there and it was dark. I couldn't control my thoughts, so I ran back home and I felt hopeless at this point. I went through my mom's bathroom and when I found what I was looking for, it made me feel stupidly relieved", I say, lifting my sleeve up slowly.

Phil had begun to tear up as I went into a full on breakdown.

"I needed you, Phil", I say as Phil pulls me into his chest.

"I'm so sorry", he says as he holds me closer.

We sit there for a while, me crying into Phil's chest while he continues to hold me.

"I'm sorry, Phil, I didn't know what else to do", I mumble into his chest.

"It's ok, just next time you feel this way, please, please call me and I will be here. Ok?", he asks.

"Ok", I respond.

Phil and I lay for a couple more minutes while Phil gently traces the cuts on my wrist and I'm cuddled up next to him. Phil turned my head to face him and leaned in, allowing our lips to connect. Once he pulled away he intertwined our fingers.

"How about we clean up those cuts of yours", Phil says and I nod.

He leads me to my bathroom where I had forgotten to clean some of the blood from the sink. Phil seems to ignore it as he grabs a towel and wets it, pressing it to the multiple cuts on my forearm. He then wraps my arm with a bandage and brings me back to the couch with him.

He turns on the TV and holds my hand, again tracing the bandage on my arm. I grab a blanket and we cuddle together while we scroll through the mulitple TV shows. Phil then brings my arm up to his lips and kisses the bandage.

"I love you, so, so much, ok? I just want you to know that, and that you are worth it, and if you have any more of these thoughts, I'm here, I will always be here. I love you", he says and I smile back up at him.

I bury my head into the crook of his neck and he wraps his arm around me as we tangle our legs together. Movies and TV shows pass as Phil and I both grow tired, we yawn in sync and I laugh a little as I close my eyes and so does Phil. Here we are finally in each others arms, and I'm able to peacefully sleep with the thoughts stopped and Phil right next to me.

Phil's pov..........

When I woke up I had forgotten where I was, but when I looked down and saw Dan peacefully sleeping, I relaxed. I begin tracing up and down his arm as his chest rises and falls with even breaths. He looks so adorable when he's asleep. I grab his hand once again and kiss the bandage. After finding out yesterday what he had done to himself, and the fact that I wasn't there for him, made me so upset. I never want to leave him like that again, and the fact that he could've died from that, made me even more anxious.

Dan's breath starts to speed up until he unexpectedly jolts awake.

"Hey, are you ok?", I ask him.

He nods in response, telling me it was only a nightmare. He relaxs up against me and we sit in silence for a little bit.

"Do you want breakfast?", I ask him. And again he nods in response as I laugh a bit.

Dan sat at the table playing with his fingers while I made us pancakes.

"Are you sure your ok?", I ask him once again while going over and kissing his forehead.

"Yes, I am fine", he responds.

"Do you want to talk about it?', I ask.

"Maybe later", he says.

He pulls my chin downward as he kisses me, god, this can never get old.

We sit and eat whiel we talk about random things going on.

"Do you want to go to school today?", I ask him.

He nods his head.

"And remeber, I will always be there", I say.

"Phil, just please, please don't leave me alone today. I can barely walk past you without wanting to kiss you. I don't care if this even disrupts our safety, I've been through so much more so I could care less about a broken nose", he says.

"I promise I will not leave your side. I'll even try to find you after class, ok?", I ask.

"Yes, please", he says.

After were all dressed, with the little distractions of Dan trying to find either sneaky or stupid ways to kiss me, and I love every second of it, we head out. Walking down the sidewalk we hold hands, but when the school approachs and the gates are visible, we disconnet our hands and step and little bit further away from each other.

"Ok, if anything happens during first period, call me or let me know after", I say to Dan before we disperse.

"Ok', he responds.

I lean in to Dan's ear so only he could hear me.

"I love you, and be safe", and with that he smiled and I turned around to head to class.

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(A/N):

So sorry I haven't really been updating! I've been sorta kinda but not really busy and I'm just being a lazy bum😂

When I was writing this I wouldn't stop 'awwwwww'ing because honestly, that was freakin adorable.

Another softball game todayyyy. Yayyyyyyy (note that sarcasm😂)

-Jay✌🏻