No More Golden Days

Chapter 18

Dan's Pov...........

The weekend was now sadly over, meaning we had to return to school tomorrow morning. For the purposes of Phil and I's safety, we aren't going to interact as much as we have been, and probably end up keeping our distance. Hearing those words come from Phil, saying we couldn't see each other in school, put a pit in my stomach and made me want to cry, but he immediately returned it with a hug saying we could hang out afterwards.

The school, however, is giving me a break due to the announcement of my mother's death on the news, meaning I don't even have to show up tomorrow. It probably would be easier if I wasn't at school and didn't have to see Phil's face in the halls without the irresistible urge to kiss him.  I had also wondered if Jason was going to be there. He did eventually end up getting arrested because Pj ratted him out, but then was released because his parents payed. I'm not gonna lie, they're rich as hell.

I had left from Phil's house earlier because his parents had come home earlier, although the did offer for me to come out to dinner with them, I had declined and here I sit. Now that my mom is dead the house is eerily quiet and quite creepy actually. I tried to play music to have background noise, but it didn't end up working.

I decided to leave the house for a while because I couldn't take the silence any longer or I was going to go insane. Of course, right when I started walking, I couldn't stop thinking. The continuous flow of not so great thoughts occupied my mind while I tried to avoid mysterious items and light posts in the sidewalk. When I passed Phil's house, it was completely dark. I needed him right now to calm me down.

I turned around and ran back home. I opened my front door and slammed it behind me while I rushed to the bathroom with racking sobs escaping my body. Digging through the draws in my mother's bathroom, which still reeked of alcohol, I tried finding something I knew she had owned. When I did finally find the box, it was underneath the sink buried in a plastic bag with some other feminine objects.

My mother used to self-harm, but whenever she caught me doing it she would take the blade away from me and lock me in my bedroom. I was sometimes punished by beatings, no dinner, or I was unable to leave my room for the rest of the night. But now that she's not here, I don't have to worry about it. I remove a blade from the box of many and squeeze it in between my fingertips.

6, 7, 8, 9, I was starting to grow dizzy, so instead of continuing, I threw the bloodied blade away and washed the gushing red liquid from my arm. I felt so weak in that moment, that I couldn't even control myself enough to resist cutting. I make my way to my bedroom and slammed the door yet again because no one could tell me no. I throw myself onto my bed without changing and wrapped my scared arm around my body while silently crying myself to sleep.

Phil's Pov...............

After I arrived home from my family dinner I went straight to my room to call Dan. I dialed his number and no one picked up, until I realized what an idiot I was and that it was currently midnight. He's probably not awake stupid.

I change out of my current clothing and get into pajamas. Once my lights are shut off and I'm in bed I try sleeping. But yet again, I can't. Hours pass and I'm sitting in my bed, awake. I eventually decide to watch netflix. More hours pass while I flip through different shows and movies, never settling on one while I can feel myself growing tired.

6:00am and I never slept. I groggily make my way to get ready for school. From what I can hear, my mother and father along with my brother, had all already left.

I don't get breakfast, making my way outside and on my walk to school. Normally on a day like this, Dan would be walking too, but I can't see him anywhere. When I arrive at school Dan isn't there either, but my group of friends are. I can see Pj and Louise wave me over but I ignore them and enter the building, making my way to homeroom.

Thirty minutes later and everyone is now seated, and again, Dan never showed up. Not that I don't mind that he didn't show up, seeing as I wouldn't be able to talk to him anyway, I just wanted to see him at least once. I decided to visit him after school.

Classes pass and my friends don't bother me like I thought they would for me blowing them off this morning. The end of the day rolls around and when the final bell rings I dash out the front doors and to Dan's house. I felt as if I had to see him.

The walk seemed like it stretched on for ages until I finally reach his house. I knock on the door and I get no response. I knock again and this time Dan opens the door with red swollen eyes and puffy cheeks.

"Dan, whats wrong?", I ask.

"There's something I need to talk about", he says.

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(A/N):

ok so that was sort of but not really a cliff hangar there if I do say so myself

Also sorry for the short chapter but I didn't have much time to write.

I've been enjoying my days alone locked in my room watching youtube and Netflix eating gallons of ice cream in the dark with absolutely no physical activity or sun which is why I look like an actual ghost but anywayyyyyy

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO CONTINUE THIS OR NOT ALONG WITH THE OTHER BOOK! aghhhhhh so many freakin decisions.

-Jay✌🏻