No More Golden Days

Chapter 20

Dan's Pov..........

I had forgotten all about Jason being in my homeroom. He was staring at my still black eye with the bandage around my head and arm while I went and sat down. He didn't move at all, just kept staring at me while I took out my phone and put my headphones in blocking out all previous noises.

My teacher didn't question me while we all scrambled out and to first period, sadly Phil was in my second period class so I was unable to see him. Although he did wave when we saw each other pass in the hall. His adorable smile filled his face and he giggled when he passed me, I got the tips of his fingers with my hand as I reached out towards him but continued walking.

Jason hasn't talked to me at all yet, or if he is going to he doesn't seem like he even wants to be near me. He didn't even bother looking in my direction during class. I was more thankful than I should have been.

Phil and I met each other after class just as we promised. He started a conversation while we walked together to second period. We had a few glances here and there, but Pj gave me the most sincere glance I seen him give me in quite a while. The rest of his friends seemed to be happy I was with him. I've never been more confused.

Lunch came around and Jason was nowhere to be seen which I was quite happy about. I told Phil how he hasn't bothered me or even talked or touched me. Phil seemed as happy as I was about it. Phil had invited me to sit with his friends and I didn't want to make him sit alone with me so I had to say yes.

As I approached the table with Phil right in front of me I could already see Pj smiling like a lunatic and Louise laughing and slapping the table. This was going to be one hell of a lunch.

When I sat down Phil sat directly in between me and Louise, he even grabbed my hand from under the table. He seemed extremely overprotective but I thought it was cute. He saw me smiling and gave me a confused look but I shrugged it off and started laughing. No one even stopped talking when I sat, they continued conversing between each other like everything was completely normal. I felt out of place.

Phil and I talked the entire time and we even joined in with the others at some point. Pj had tried to fit an entire orange in his mouth, he was really close but then he gagged and it went flying across the table. Louise then gave him a clementine and he managed to fit that in his mouth but he almost choked so he spit it out. I was laughing so hard I was crying, and so was everyone else here.

I didn't feel like an outcast here, everyone laughing together and not just at me. No one was even staring at me, just regular glances when I had something to say or something I wanted to show.

When school had ended Jason hadn't even spoke to me let alone make eye contact at all. Phil and I walked back to his house together. PJ was coming over later to do homework along with Louise and some others. I wasn't exactly worried though because they weren't coming to beat me up, they were coming to do something with me which is something I probably will never get used to.

Phil had made sandwiches as we were sat infront of the TV watching some sitcom. The TV blared on but suddenly the doorbell rung and it made me jump. I got up to get it, assuming it was just the "gang", but when I opened the door I was a bit suprised.

Jason stood there. He didn't say anything, just stood there and stared at me with red eyes and puffy wet cheeks. Phil had asked who it was but before he could I steped out and closed the door behind me.

"What do you want, Jason?", I snap.

He seems taken aback because he looks more shocked than before.

"I-i'm so sor-ry", he chokes out while beggining to cry again.

"I had loved you, but I knew I couldn't be with you because everyone else hated you. And I never knew why. When I saw the multiple empty bottles of Vodka on your kitchen counter when you were out from school broke me. When I came back I didn't even talk to anyone, sure some were suspicious but I couldn't come forword to them", he says.

"Wait, so you "had" loved me. And I'm saying had because I have a better boyfriend than you could ever be. And if you had loved me, you avoided me so you wouldn't get bullied?", I state.

"Yes", he mutters. "You know how many times I tried commiting suicide because of you!", I shout while I start to cry.

"You went on to bully me for years. YEARS. And you know how worthless you made me feel? And how many scars line my bosy because of you! I was even in the hospital for MONTHS because YOU smashed my head against a rock!", I shout.

Jason had stopped crying and was now standing with a dead expression on his face. I hadn't noticed that the  door had opened behind me and Phil was standing there with a very pissed expression.

"I have to go", he mutters while turning around and going down the front steps.

Once he's gone I start to sprint to my house. I couldn't take it knowing that he had actually loved me at some point. I needed the thoughts to stop. When I turned around Phil was runninng behind me. I started to speed up because he would stop me from what I'm about to do. I run through my front door and slam it behind me. I go into my bathroom and lock the door so Phil's unable to get in. I start to realize that what I'm about to do will take me from Phil. God how much he's going to regret meeting this fucking deppresed suicidal teen who's too damn hormonal to function.

"I'm sorry", I start to mutter over and over again while I can hear Phil banging on the door and the screaming pleads to stop. I let one last tear fall while I cut my wrists open along with my thighs and my stomach. I had cut deeper than I thought because blood starts to gush while Phil's screams become more urgent and even louder than before. I can hear him pounding harder and harder while his sobs become more noisy.

Everything around me started to become black but before it could, and to make sure I wouldn't wake uo again, I grabbed a bottle of pills from the cupboard and downed the entire thing before I could hear other voices from outside.

The door blasted open with a dying effort from Phil as paramedics fill the room along with Louise's scream in the background before everything went pitch black. And the horrid screams coming from Phil were silenced.

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(A/N):

Welp.

God why do I enjoy writing crap like this????

I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR LIKE MONTHS just kidding its only been like a couple weeks BUT STILL.

ALSO I never said this before but if you ever feel like you need to harm yourself or you feel like your not worth it, YOU ARE, I am always open to talk to anybody who needs help because trust me, I've gone through this before. (I've had about four failed suicide attempts but I am so much better now because I opened up to somebody) and even if it's not me, talk to your parents or a really good friend of yours. (I first talked to one of my teachers, ya I know, weird. and she's actually the one who suggested I start counseling)

-Jay✌🏻