Zone Zero: Vengeance (Book 3 of 3)

Chapter 39

I wake to an empty bed and immediately sit upright and search the darkened room for Alex. I can't say im not shocked or even worried when he isn't in my bedroom.

I slowly stand and make my way to the attached bathroom expecting to see him there but he is nowhere to be seen.

I head to the wardrobe and grab whatever clothes I can and slide into them and continue my search.

As I walk out of my room I sneak a glance in to Annerly and see that she is still fast asleep. The shinning stars outside say it is still in the dead of night meaning I will have a few hours at least until the angel wakes.

I enter the lounge area but still no Alex. Next I head into the kitchen and look out over to the patio.

There, standing on the same wooden patio that Alex confessed his true feelings for me, stands the only man that I will ever love. His back is to me as he grips he wooden barrier keeping him from falling into the icy lake.

I make my way outside and over to him feeling the bite of the frozen night air against my cheeks. He hears my footsteps and turns to face me.

"What are you doing?" I ask stopping a metre from his reach.

"Just watching." He says and motions upwards to the colourful display that Aurora Borealis is demonstrating.

Most nights, after Annerly is asleep, I make my way out here and watch the stars dance with the colourful ribbons and it me brings a sense of peace I never knew I needed. Maybe that's what it is doing for Alex right now.

My mind, now relieved I found Alex, soon takes a dark turn and begins thinking about what it would feel if he had left while I slept. The same way I left him. My heart begins to ache at the thought  and I have to bite my lower lip to keep it from trembling.

This sudden feeling of loss must have been what Alex went through.

That realisation alone brings an enormous amount of pain and regret cascading down onto me. How could I have put Alex through that? He is the only man I have ever loved or will ever love and I hurt him beyond repair. How can he even bring himself to look at me? He must be have a hidden anger towards my actions that he isn't showing me.

"Im not mad, Evie." He whispers. He must have heard me through our bond.

Our eyes lock and I feel like a child that has dissappointed their parents. I expect Alex to say something else. To yell or to even tell me he hates what I did but he doesn't. He merely looks at me with those amazing blue eyes of his.

"You're not?" I ask quietly.

He looks down at his feet and shakes his head, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his black jacket at the same time.

"I was at first. I couldn't understand how you could just leave without saying goodbye in person. But then I realised that you couldn't." Our eyes meet once again before he continues. "If you waited to say goodbye you wouldn't have been able to leave."

I nod slowly.

He is right. I couldn't tell him I was going because he would have tried to make me stay and I had to go. For Annerly's sake.

"I understand why you left that way. But I can't lie and say it doesn't hurt." He says the last few words in a whisper and I feel it in my heart.

How could i have done this to him at such a time? He was fighting for me and I saw the easy option and took it without thinking twice.

No. Not the easy option. The easiest option. Leaving Alex was still the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I breathe in a shaky breath and look up to the sky for guidance. This is definitely a conversation that will not be easy no matter where it heads.