*Rose's POV*He tells me to wait until mom sleeps.. I do that and I feel so bad.. Sophie is also already sleeping.. I feel like a whore.. my phone in my hand still waiting for Grayson's call.. did something happen?
Why didn't he call me? I hope he's okay. He seemed so weird and different after I talked to Ethan.. I stand up and walk down after I hear him screaming my name. I'm so not ready for this..
But I'm doing it for Sophie.. only for her. I'm scared and I think I'm about to die but I keep walking..
I wrapped a really thin blanket around me even if I'm not cold.. I just don't feel comfortable like running around here this..My mom could be wearing this kind of lingerie. He's really a psychopath... he's already sitting on the couch waiting for me.. he smirks.. a very dirty smirk.
Then he leans back.. I'm only doing this for Sophie.. only for her.. she won't find out about any of this..I will never tell her. Not even when she grows up. I don't want her to know what I went through. She deserves the best and I wish I could get out of here but I can't without explaining anybody what's going on so I'm just thing my best to make it easier for us both.
It'll be alright..
I let the blanket fall.. his eyes get bigger and he licks his lips but I'm empty.. I don't feel like I have a soul or anything.. I have nothing..He groans.. »Yes.. that's what I want..« I try to hold my tears back. It would be very very very ridiculous to cry now..
He pulls me to himself..*Grayson's POV*
I walk around in the house. I guess it's already the 7th round. I still didn't call Rose and I'm getting nervous. I don't know why but I don't want to call her. I don't want to pressure her or anything else.. but I need to hear her voice.
Maybe I should just go and get her.. I feel so uncomfortable when she's not around. I scratch my neck and take a deep breath.
Or I could just jump into the pool to calm down.. seems good. I walk to the backyard where the pool is.. it's already looks hella cold but I don't care. I turn around and let myself fall into it..
Yes I was right it's freaking cold. It's so cold that I start shaking. I get out immediately and my dad
walks out.»Son What are you doing?« he asks looking at me eyes wide open.. I open my mouth to say something but I have no clue what to say.. I'm just cold and shaking.. but it felt good. I feel like I got my shit back together.
I need to get my shit together. Catherine runs out as well with slowly steps.. yes she's running slowly in her high heels.. I look at her and furrow my eyebrows. »I'm sure it's not good for the baby to walk in these shoes.« I say pointing at her Louboutins.. she looks down at herself..
I'm not sure why I know this but it's not good for her back.. means it not good for her baby. It's not like I care. All I wanted to do was bring her down.
My dad looks at me and shrugs questioning me. I shrug like I don't know. Then I walk past them both. Of course I don't forget to give dad a shoulder. I don't turn around to see how pissed he is. I just raise my middle finger and walk back up to my room..
I think I'm about to get crazy.. I need to do something I can't just sit here not doing anything, thinking about Rose, my stupid life and the stupid cop.
I take my clothes off and throw them away.
Then I take some new clothes on and sit down on my desk. I feel so weird.. I don't feel well..
I open the drawer next to me and get my best friend out..So I take a credit card and makes four pretty lines on my clean table.. it might burn a little since it's been a while after the last time I took it but I'll get used to it again.
As soon as I feel it in my blood I feel my veins popping up.. it's like venom.. it makes me feel so weird but way more comfortable and better. Now I feel like I could do everything.. maybe I'm going to feel like shit later but for now it's all good..
*Rose's POV*
He keeps kissing my neck and touching me everywhere.. I don't think I'm able to take this any longer.. I'm doing it fo Sophie but I have my limits.. it's enough.. a tear rolls down my cheek.. he's saying things that make me feel even more comfortable..
I don't know for how long we've been like this now but it feels like forever and I want it to stop... I push him away. »Okay enough..« I say with a shaking voice.. he's out of breath... I feel so dirty and so disgusting.. I hate myself.
I
did this for my little sister but I lost myself with it.. but at least he has what he wanted now.. I'm sure he still won't leave me alone now but it's worth a try.. he backs off..»I got what I wanted.. so I'm going to give you what you wanted..« he says smirking..
»For now..« what does he mean with for now? I must be stupid to think that this would be enough for him.. my stomach drops..I can't even say anything.. I'm just glad that he stopped.. »Goodnight bunny..« he smacks my ass and I watch how he walks upstairs.. then I burst out in tears as soon as I hear how he closes their bedroom door.. I don't understand this and I never will.
I rush to the kitchen with my shaking legs and get the Hennessy out of the freezer that he was saving for the 'good times'. I don't care if he'll notice that I took it or not. I don't give a fuck.
I've been strong for too long. I need anything to get myself back together. Otherwise I'll collapse and have a mental break down. I open the bottle and drink...
It burns and makes me feel some type of way bur I don't care.. I cough a few times and almost choke but I still don't care.. then I fall on the ground and try to catch my breath..
I'm shaking like crazy and I feel like throwing up again.. maybe I should do that..
I start gagging and vomit on the kitchen floor.
It's the third time I did that today..Then I just lay there.. I lay down on the cold kitchen floor in the lingerie that Richard bought for me.. I feel his hands all over my body.. this feeling needs to go away..
I need something.. I need some drugs to make me feel numb.. what is Grayson using? Maybe I could get some of it.. or maybe I could just kills myself without saving anybody because obviously I can't do shit..
I can't help anybody. I'm always telling myself something and doing the exact opposite of it..
I don't know what to do and I'm not going to tell anybody about this.And I never thought about drinking or doing drugs but now I need both.. maybe it's going to kill me and I'll finally die. I don't want to live anyways.. I'm going to end this all soon.. either he leaves or I leave..
I'm sure he won't so it's probably going to me and I think I should clean the mess up that I'm laying next to but I don't feel like I can move.. my whole body is shaking and I feel so tired..
I can barely open my eyes and my heartbeat is slowing down with every minute that's passing.. it's silent and dark..
But for now I put all these things beside and fall asleep with the bottle in my hand...
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