*Rose's POV*
He tells me to wait until mom sleeps.. I do that and I feel so bad.. Sophie is also already sleeping.. I feel like a whore.. my phone in my hand still waiting for Grayson's call.. did something happen?
Why didn't he call me? I hope he's okay. He seemed so weird and different after I talked to Ethan.. I stand up and walk down after I hear him screaming my name. I'm so not ready for this..
But I'm doing it for Sophie.. only for her. I'm scared and I think I'm about to die but I keep walking..
I wrapped a really thin blanket around me even if I'm not cold.. I just don't feel comfortable like running around here this..
My mom could be wearing this kind of lingerie. He's really a psychopath... he's already sitting on the couch waiting for me.. he smirks.. a very dirty smirk.
Then he leans back.. I'm only doing this for Sophie.. only for her.. she won't find out about any of this..
I will never tell her. Not even when she grows up. I don't want her to know what I went through. She deserves the best and I wish I could get out of here but I can't without explaining anybody what's going on so I'm just thing my best to make it easier for us both.
It'll be alright..
I let the blanket fall.. his eyes get bigger and he licks his lips but I'm empty.. I don't feel like I have a soul or anything.. I have nothing..
He groans.. »Yes.. that's what I want..« I try to hold my tears back. It would be very very very ridiculous to cry now..
He pulls me to himself..
*Grayson's POV*
I walk around in the house. I guess it's already the 7th round. I still didn't call Rose and I'm getting nervous. I don't know why but I don't want to call her. I don't want to pressure her or anything else.. but I need to hear her voice.
Maybe I should just go and get her.. I feel so uncomfortable when she's not around. I scratch my neck and take a deep breath.
Or I could just jump into the pool to calm down.. seems good. I walk to the backyard where the pool is.. it's already looks hella cold but I don't care. I turn around and let myself fall into it..
Yes I was right it's freaking cold. It's so cold that I start shaking. I get out immediately and my dad
walks out.
»Son What are you doing?« he asks looking at me eyes wide open.. I open my mouth to say something but I have no clue what to say.. I'm just cold and shaking.. but it felt good. I feel like I got my shit back together.
I need to get my shit together. Catherine runs out as well with slowly steps.. yes she's running slowly in her high heels.. I look at her and furrow my eyebrows. »I'm sure it's not good for the baby to walk in these shoes.« I say pointing at her Louboutins.. she looks down at herself..
I'm not sure why I know this but it's not good for her back.. means it not good for her baby. It's not like I care. All I wanted to do was bring her down.
My dad looks at me and shrugs questioning me. I shrug like I don't know. Then I walk past them both. Of course I don't forget to give dad a shoulder. I don't turn around to see how pissed he is. I just raise my middle finger and walk back up to my room..
I think I'm about to get crazy.. I need to do something I can't just sit here not doing anything, thinking about Rose, my stupid life and the stupid cop.
I take my clothes off and throw them away.
Then I take some new clothes on and sit down on my desk. I feel so weird.. I don't feel well..
I open the drawer next to me and get my best friend out..
So I take a credit card and makes four pretty lines on my clean table.. it might burn a little since it's been a while after the last time I took it but I'll get used to it again.
As soon as I feel it in my blood I feel my veins popping up.. it's like venom.. it makes me feel so weird but way more comfortable and better. Now I feel like I could do everything.. maybe I'm going to feel like shit later but for now it's all good..
*Rose's POV*
He keeps kissing my neck and touching me everywhere.. I don't think I'm able to take this any longer.. I'm doing it fo Sophie but I have my limits.. it's enough.. a tear rolls down my cheek.. he's saying things that make me feel even more comfortable..
I don't know for how long we've been like this now but it feels like forever and I want it to stop... I push him away. »Okay enough..« I say with a shaking voice.. he's out of breath... I feel so dirty and so disgusting.. I hate myself.
I
did this for my little sister but I lost myself with it.. but at least he has what he wanted now.. I'm sure he still won't leave me alone now but it's worth a try.. he backs off..
»I got what I wanted.. so I'm going to give you what you wanted..« he says smirking..
»For now..« what does he mean with for now? I must be stupid to think that this would be enough for him.. my stomach drops..
I can't even say anything.. I'm just glad that he stopped.. »Goodnight bunny..« he smacks my ass and I watch how he walks upstairs.. then I burst out in tears as soon as I hear how he closes their bedroom door.. I don't understand this and I never will.
I rush to the kitchen with my shaking legs and get the Hennessy out of the freezer that he was saving for the 'good times'. I don't care if he'll notice that I took it or not. I don't give a fuck.
I've been strong for too long. I need anything to get myself back together. Otherwise I'll collapse and have a mental break down. I open the bottle and drink...
It burns and makes me feel some type of way bur I don't care.. I cough a few times and almost choke but I still don't care.. then I fall on the ground and try to catch my breath..
I'm shaking like crazy and I feel like throwing up again.. maybe I should do that..
I start gagging and vomit on the kitchen floor.
It's the third time I did that today..
Then I just lay there.. I lay down on the cold kitchen floor in the lingerie that Richard bought for me.. I feel his hands all over my body.. this feeling needs to go away..
I need something.. I need some drugs to make me feel numb.. what is Grayson using? Maybe I could get some of it.. or maybe I could just kills myself without saving anybody because obviously I can't do shit..
I can't help anybody. I'm always telling myself something and doing the exact opposite of it..
I don't know what to do and I'm not going to tell anybody about this.
And I never thought about drinking or doing drugs but now I need both.. maybe it's going to kill me and I'll finally die. I don't want to live anyways.. I'm going to end this all soon.. either he leaves or I leave..
I'm sure he won't so it's probably going to me and I think I should clean the mess up that I'm laying next to but I don't feel like I can move.. my whole body is shaking and I feel so tired..
I can barely open my eyes and my heartbeat is slowing down with every minute that's passing.. it's silent and dark..
But for now I put all these things beside and fall asleep with the bottle in my hand...
