Opposites ~ n.h (rewriting)

Chapter 15: Letter before London.

We're a month further now. November is arriving and so is the winter. As weird as it sounds; Niall and I still haven't made it official. I know very well what is stopping me from being with him, but Niall never told me what is keeping him from being with me. I still have to tell him why I have scars. I need to tell him what made my mind decide to start something this disgusting. I'm so happy it's not that visible anymore, if they were I probably couldn't even look in the mirror without having the tendency to gag. Today I will tell him. "Today I will tell him" I speak out loud to really promise myself that I will. I could never tell him this. How in the world am I going to tell him? There's only one way to do it. 

I grab pen and paper and start to write. I have to hurry if I want to bring this to Niall before leaving for London. I have a week off from Uni and Harry asked me to fly over to London to visit him and his friends. My suitcase is already standing by the door and my plane ticket is laying on the table. The table I'm currently sitting at to write down why I have scars on my hips and what made my mind so full of demons that I did this. 

3 pm, my letter is ready and if I leave now I will have plenty of time to give this to Niall. I drag my suitcase behind me, lifting it up when I get to the stairs and walk down to my car. On my way out I run into Louis. "Oh, hi there love!" He says, smiling as I stop walking. "Hey Lou." I give him a small wave.d

"Have fun in London." He calls after me, as I walk outside to my car. I drive straight to Niall's and ring the doorbell as I arrive at his door. "Hey Luna." Eliza smiles as she opens the door. "Where's Niall?" I ask her, walking in after her. "I don't know." She shrugs. He's probably still asleep. I walk into his bedroom, his bed is empty but as I put my hand on it, still warm. He'll probably be in the bath- gagging sounds interrupt and at the same time confirm my thoughts. I knock on the door of the bathroom. 

"Niall? Are you okay in there?" I ask, slowly opening the door. I walk in and there he is, hugging the toilet. His face is literally green and there are dark circles around his eyes. "Not really." He manages to say before turning back to the toilet to vomit some more. "What happened?" I ask him. "Too much alcohol and drugs." He croaks out. I grab a towel and kneel down next to him. I wipe the vomit from his mouth before wetting the other end of the towel and cleaning the drips of sweat on his forehead. "Here brush your teeth." I give him his toothbrush but he doesn't take it. He just looks at me with big puppy eyes. I sigh. "Fine open your mouth, little kid." I chuckle. Niall obeys and I softly brush his teeth and tongue, brushing away the taste of vomit. 

"I'd rather stay but I really have to catch my flight." I say getting up from his bed. "Stay, please." He whispers. "I can't." I say letting go of his hand and planting a kiss on his forehead. "Will you please read this? It's important." I tell him as I put the letter on his bedside table. "Yeah." He says, sitting up to give me a proper kiss. "Bye Nialler, please be careful. I love you." I tell him. "I will. I love you." He says. I kiss Eliza goodbye and walk outside.

The rain is pouring down and I can barely see anything on the road. Maybe I should just move to I don't know, somewhere were it doesn't rain as often as here. I wish. "Fucking rain." I curse as I turn out of the parking lot outside Niall's building and make my way to the airport. 

NIall's POV

I groan as my headache starts to kick in. "Fucking great." I moan sarcastically as I swing my feet over the edge of my bed. I have to get Eliza dressed for her dance class. God I shouldn't have drank so much. I grab another painkiller from the nightstand before going through my drawer of sock looking for the little box. With shaking hands I open it as soon as I've found it, grabbing the little bag with cocaine out of it and making a line. 

I walk out of my bedroom, freshly showered and feeling a lot better. "Eliza let's get you ready for dance class, okay?" I ask her. She looks up from the iPad, her eyes wide and full of worry. What is going on? "Liz, what happened?" I sit beside her. "Anna is dying." She points at the screen, her eyes completely sad. "Oh, hun. She will be fine. Films always end well." I promise her. "Okay." She answers. I grab her hand and get her dressed.