The Only Hope for Me is You

Frank sat upon the stool and looked up at Gerard. "Just do it," Frank whispered, "It'll be fine Gerard do it." Gerard took a deep, long breath and switched on the electric shaver. His eyes teared up as he stroked Franks hair for the last time.

Soon it was done. Gerard and a hairless Frank were standing in the mirror, surrounded by hair staring at the reflection. Gerard gasped and started to turn around when frank grabbed his arm and pulled him into a hug. Since Frank was diagnosed, things had been different. Ray and Mikey took it fairly well, asking questions and showing Frank support. Of course they were sad but they tried to hide it from Frank as best as they could. Whereas, it was too much for Gerard. He had been so close to Frank since the band had started, 11 years ago. He was his best friend and like a brother to him. They rarely fought and when they did, they would forgive each other within a day. All Gerard could think of was how he thought that day. January the 29th 2012. The day he sat at a table with Frank. The day his whole world fell apart. The day Frank whispered "Gerard... I have cancer." He could remember every part of that day, no matter how much he wanted to forget it. He could remember the tears streaming down his face like a waterfall. He could remember falling to his knees, sobbing. He could remember Franks arms wrapping around him, whispering "It's okay Gerry, it's okay" and he never wanted to move. He wanted to stay there forever, he didn't want to have to go through with it all. He didn't want to watch Frank deteriorating in front of him, and he didn't want to know that he couldn't do anything to help. If he could, he would have taken the cancer right out of Frank and put it in himself. But he couldn't. And it tore him apart. From that day things only spiralled down. He believed that it was his fault, he wanted to take the pain away from Frank. So he began to self destruct. Cutting and burning himself, just to get an idea of what Frank was feeling, but soon he became addicted to it. Soon the innocent cuts seemed to be more like suicide attempts. He was hospitalised two months after, from blood loss. He had nearly died that day and he felt so selfish. "How could I? I'm such a selfish idiot. How could I have even thought about leaving Frank, after all this. I'm so stupid, I deserve to be punished." he thought. So he cut deeper and deeper, just not deep enough to kill him. Deep enough to make him feel, to take away the numbness that was his life.