The Fall (Madness)

Ch.6 - Fading

Everyday with him wasn't a waste of time. That was for sure. He always found a way to make me happy. He always found a way for me to enjoy time with him. He always found a way to make me smile.

But I had my suspicions.

What if this was just a game to him?

What if this was just an act?

These thoughts crossed my mind so many times. And everytime, I just pushed them away. Thinking about them made me sad, and I didn't want that.

It's been a week, and I meet Cameron everyday. But dates aren't the only times I see him. It was routine. When i went out to buy groceries, I saw him.... At the same dark corner... With the same familiar faces... With the same object in his hands.

I call it 'The Self Killer'

Just a Cigarette.

I passed right next to them, but all he did was ignore me. I felt like a toy... his favourite toy. I shivered everytime i saw the smoke... The air remover... It was always followed by their laugh and their evil smirks...

How I wanted to be safe... in his arms. Too close... but too far away. They say that pain demands to be felt, well i think it hit me.

That Day was weird. I can't even name it.... STRANGE.

I was on my way to buy groceries as always when i see him in his usual spot. The same smirks... the same smoke... the same laughs. I think I've had enough.

I went right to him.

- Are you planning to ignore me for the rest of your life ? What is this? One day you're oh-so-sweet Cameron, and the next one you're the devil himself? - I yelled, pointing at him and poking him in his chest.

All I heard from him and the others were laughs. Laughs... laughs and more laughs.

- Who is this baby, Cameron? - one of them said

- Just a sweetheart I met. Isn't she pretty? - he said and twirled some strands of my hair on his hand.

What is this? Just a Sweetheart.... JUST A SWEETHEART. I'm screaming. This can't be happening. Not this please.

Every laugh made it even worse. It's like he was contolling me. No tears... I didn't want them... but I wasn't the one controlling... my heart was.

Where was he hiding his Voodoo Doll?

Where are the strings he's moving?

I'm trapped in his net. 

In the middle of a dark corner... Crying my heart out to someone who doesn't deserve it.

I'M OUT OF HERE!

All I could do was run. Run as fast as I could.

My sight was blurred by the tears.

My hand over my mouth to not let out anymore sobs come out.

Doors blasting.

Heavily falling in my soft bed... wetting every part of my pillow

I didn't like this at all. I surely didn't want this to be the end.

I dream too much... I smirked ironically.

I felt thirsty, but I didn't want water... I was thirsty for love. Was that even possible?

I was hungry... I wanted more... more love.

More

More

More

More

More

Can you call it selfishness?

Flashbacks on my head... HIM... it was all about him... Every Thought

- STOP! STOP THIS! GET OUT OF MY MIND! - I cried

My eyes were at the window.

- He's never coming back is he? - I asked myself, although i already knew the answer.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I opened my eyes... I looked my surroundings. I was at my room... on my bed. A cloth fell off my head on my lap. A bowl full of water was on the shelft next to my bed.

What was happening?

Then I heard some footsteps. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. I think it worked, because the person that entered the room didn't talk to me.

- Damn it! This is all my fault... I'm such a douchbag! - I heard him.

As soon i realise who this voice belonged to, I opened my eyes and was ready to slap him, but he catched my hand.

- Easy there, tiger - he said

- Don't you dare talk to me! How do you dare come here in the first place? - I screamed more than I talked

- You had a high temperature ! I couldn't leave you like that!

- That's all you have to say ?

- No! Look, I'm sorry! I'm not myself when i smoke. I ..wasn't me - he said and brought my hand into his

-And that's your excuse? - I snatched my hand out of his grasp.

- It's not an excuse, it's the truth!

- Then why hide it from me?

- That's my only escape. I can't... I can't leave it!

- But you have to... I'm sorry! But I can't hag out with someone who wants to destroy himself and then use it as an excuse.. It is very childish!

- Please don't... Why can't we just continue the way it was before... You, me and the laughs?

- Because I can't... It is like asking me to pretend i don't see you every day  in that corner, calling me a 'sweetheart' in front of your friends. Really? Just a one time thing? If you don't wanna end what we have, then leave it...Man up!

- This is no fucking fair... ,- he growled loudly, getting a hold of his hair, trying not to explode right in front of me.

- Life isn't a bed of flowers,- i crossed my arms as i whispered the words

And just like I imagined, he left.... crashing everything on its way!

CAMERON'S P.O.V.

MY HEART WANTS TO COME HOME... I wish I was beside you!