Chim - Only Your Love Could Ever Teach Me

Chapter 10

Maybe the realization didn't kick in soon enough. I search the hospital as best I can while trying to avoid a certain redhead. Time to call it quits, I figure she's left the hospital entirely.

I just want to go home, figure out a way to apologize and then go round Nicola's later hoping Kimberley will be there. Pulling through the gates of my home I soon see that my day won't be that simple. I spot three unwelcome vehicles in front of my house. I take a few minutes to myself before going in.

"So Queen Cole isn't lost?!" is my bitter greeting as I step into my living room.

"I'm surprised you care, Harding." is my sharp reply.

"Trust me, we don't personally. Professionally on the other hand your disappearing act is screwing us over, Cheryl." Nadine is quick to add to Sarah's defense.

"Girls, girls. Play nice." Hilary, our manager, adds. Nadine and Sarah seem to retract their claws for the time being as I still stand guarded by the entrance.

"Anybody care to tell me what the hell all of you are doing in my house?"

"How many days has it been since we've seen you Cheryl?" Nadine asks.

"Don't beat around the bush. We both know your real question is how days has it been since the three of us have been papped together? I thought the pics of my two closest friends taking me from the hospital would be enough to hold the press and public over for awhile. How many pics do they need of us to keep up this facade that we are friends?" I don't know where the words are coming from but they need to come out sooner rather than later. " Why can't we go back to actually being friends instead just for the cameras?"

"Cheryl, you know the answer to that question is you!" Sarah says chillingly and effectively silencing the room.

There it is the line in the sand drawn, Sarah and Nadine vs. Cheryl. The silence is suffocating. Is this really what my life is now a game of pretend with girls I would have once trusted with my life?

"I don't want this anymore." it barely comes out more than a whisper but there is no doubt that they heard me. "I don't want this anymore." I repeat with more conviction.

There is brief break in Nadine's offensive demeanor, so brief that if I blinked I would have missed it. If she had something to say she thinks better of it and keeps it to herself. Sarah is well Sarah over that last few months I've lost any ability to read her expressions or even begin to guess what she's thinking.

"But..."

"No buts, Hilary. Please just all of you go and leave my spare key on the table." I say with a brave face while inside I'm breaking.

Silence descends once again as I make my way upstairs. Moments later I'm guessing my words have finally sunk in as I hear movement and muffled voices before the opening and closing of my front door.

I curl up on the bed clutching my pillow tight. Silent tears cascade down my face. Downstairs I realized that I can't hope to fix things with the girls without fixing myself first. Years ago I lost myself and only now has one person begun to find the pieces of me.

(Kimberley's POV)

After the Cheryl incident, I went straight back to Nic's. I crashed out on the sofa not really watching tv but mostly lost in my thoughts. Why do the things Cheryl says upset me so easily? Seriously what do I expect from her, if anything the last few days have proven her thoughts to speech connection is a tad faulty. More importantly what does she expect from me?"

I never did answer those questions because I soon fell asleep. I stir slightly upon hearing Nicola's key in the lock. I pretend still be asleep as she enters, I don't think I'm ready for the questions she is bound to have.

"Kimberley, I've shared a bed with you enough to know when you're asleep." I open my eyes to see Nic with a small smile playing on her lips as she stands next to the sofa. I raise myself to a seated position as she sits next to me. "What the hell is going on?" She asks getting straight to the point.

Not even in the mood to tip toe around the truth, I tell her everything to the first night watching over an unconscious Cheryl to my grand exit from the hospital earlier today. I even tell her that after our latest disagreement that I give up on Cheryl. I'll just go back to Bradford and try to forget any of this ever happened. Who would believe me if I told them anyway?

"Oh." is the unenthusiastic response from Nic. "When you rang me and said you were coming back to London for awhile I thought it was to be with your amazing best friend. Never would I have guessed it would be to secretly hang out with Cheryl fucking Cole of all people. You must realize how mad this all seems, Kimberley?" She says not angrily but more surprised/confused than anything. "So, you still have no clue why you're really here?"

"Nope."

"Ask her. Instead of having a row every time she has a little diva moment, talk it out. I don't quite understand it myself but my best and only advice I can give is talk to her."

We sit in a comfortable silence. I do feel better that things aren't quite so secretive anymore.

"Just be careful, Kimberley. You have such a big heart it would be a shame to see it break."

I take a long look at her after that comment. In all these years we've never spoken of or acknowledged my drunken confession one night. Truth be told I thought she was equally or more drunk than I was so I assumed she didn't remember that night. That statement paired with the look of concern in her eyes assures that she does in fact remember.

"I will be." I say as I flash her an appreciative smile.