WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR

PITY

" Today, as with everyday, is a new day
Be sure to remind yourself
That it is okay to be different from yesterday
Or not quite not ready for tomorrow
Some times we take a step bach
And other times we grow more in one day
Than we do in an entire year
And that is exactly what is about-
Balance and change
For even moon has its phrases
So why cannot we"

"You sure you want to go to school, you can drop school if you want." My mom repeated it again and again.
"Yeah, I think I can go to school" I reassured her as she kept on looking at me with pity in her eyes.
Pity.
I hate it.
My mom left me in my room and I kept on staring the walls I once painted along with dad when he was not busy.
Memories rushed even more faster than a magnetic train in front of my eyes.
"Dad!" I yelled.
"What happened?" Dad shouted as he rushed into my room, frightened.
"I want jellyfish" I told him.
"But why sweetie? You already have a turtle " he said pointing to David, my pet turtle.
"But jellyfishes are so beautiful" I said looking at him with those Bambi eyes.
" God anything but these Bambi eyes" my dad said shutting his eyes to escape the cuteness of my pouted face and to catch the strength to say no.
He looked at me and said ,"okay, but what about painting them on these walls" he said patting the white wall.
"Yeah, why not, it would make them feel home" I shouted and he grabbed me and started to tickle my toes.

I let out a small chuckle. When mom came in she dropped the tea cup she had in her hands making it shatter into 56 pieces.( Yup I counted then when we cleaned them)
She then grabbed the paintbrush and started to paint with us, mom always wanted to be a painter but things turned out something else for her.
It was great time . If only the time could be rewinded.
But it can't.

I got up of my wheelchair because I knew I had the will to walk, I don't give a shit about that stupid cancer. I am going to compete in nationals.
I tried to walk but after every four or five step, my legs stumbled, I know that after a month or two, my legs would stop functioning and I would be left alone on this wheelchair.
I felt broken.
Piece by piece, button by button.
If only I could join these pieces together.
If only....
~~~
" Honey what are you doing here?!" My mom asked suprised as she saw me struggling to walk down the stairs trying best not to fall, walking with the help of the wall.a
"Umm...getting downstairs to have dinner I guess" I told her.
" But I told you that I would bring you food upstairs in your room" my mom said, as she spoke her voice vibrated as she struggled to hold back her tears.
"Mom" I said.
"What Lilli?" She asked.
"Can I eat the chocolate cake that had been stored in the fridge???" I asked.
"What? Oh yes" she said.
"Well how did you knew that I had chocolate cake on the fridge?" She asked.
"Well as far as I know, you can't live without choclate cake, even though you had been trying to watch your weight" I told her as she scoffed while she looked guiltily ate the salad she was eating.
"Yup, you are right" she said.
And we silently shoved the food, not in a mood to eat it because we both knew that we had a very less little time to spend with each other.
"So did you told dad?" I asked taking a bite out of my chocolate cake.
"Not yet" she said
"How could you not?!" I asked her jumping out of my seat and falling off the chair.
"Reasons" she said.
"Reasons" I repeated.
"But he must have had read it in the newspaper" I asked.
" Lilli dear, he's in Japan, working and news was in local newspaper" she told me.
"Okay" I said and mentally slapped myself for being so stupid.
Stupid me, stupid brain.

*
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Hey guys, finally updated.
Long time no see.
You guys are great so thx for reading this book.
With chocolate cakes and any other flavor you like.
L. Wolf
~~~