Like We Used To

Six

"Can you promise me if this was right, don't throw it all away? Can you do all these things?"

September 27, 2017, The Break up

"We'll end up like this? Are you serious?" She asked me.

"I am your downfall." I said.

"And so am I?" She looked at me. I saw pain in her eyes, I swear to God.. I wanted to take back what I said.

"You have to understand me!" But my frustration was eating me slowly.

"I am doing that!" She shouted. "Being one of your secrets? Yes, I accepted that! Isn't that enough?"

"I'm sorry." I said and sighed.

She looked at me straight in the eyes. I tried to hid all my emotions. Kasi masisira ang lahat kapag pinakita ko ang totoo sa kanya.

"Minahal mo ba talaga ako?" She suddenly asked.

Hindi ako kaagad nakasagot. I looked at her, I'm sorry baby, if I have to do this.

"Gosh, Ed! We spent a year hiding this, for what?!"

I didn't said anything. Not because I can't, but because I wanted to save her from falling apart with me.

"If this what you want, fine." She said. "But, promise me not to cross paths with me again. I hate you."

She turned her back on me and slowly walked away. I wanted to run after her but I can't.

May 03, 2018, The Closure

That was the oldest memory I've got since the last day I talked to her. Oo, pakitang tao lang kasi 'yung sa ASAP. We never had the chance to talk about our loves ulit.

Punong puno ako ng pagsisisi araw araw dahil sa nagawa ko. I chose to ruined myself for something I thought was worth the risk. Funny how my fate makes me realize that I was wrong. I got my goals since day one of PBB but not with the right girl whom I saw my future with.

"Why did you broke up ba kasi?" Heaven asked.

"What have you done ba?" Marco asked at me too. "You see, I have been dating Julianna and until now, hindi ko pa rin maintindihan bakit kayo naghiwalay?"

We are here at ASAP, same dressing room. Whenever they had the chance they always ask me about what happened between us.

"Kausapin mo nga kami!" Heaven said and slapped my arm. "Why did you broke up? We've waited for almost half a year para malaman."

"I got tired." I said. Heaven looked at me like I said something wrong. "What?"

"Liar." Heaven said. "Since PBB days you tried to protect her, and you'll say that to me? Nah. Try harder brother."

I sighed. "If you don't want to believe me, then fine. I can't do anything about that anymore."

Marco sighed and shook his head. "We can't believe your reason bro. That small thing?"

Napakunot noo ako. "It isn't a small thing, Marco."

"Then what?"

I looked at him. I saw anger in his eyes. I don't know what for.

"Edward, listen." Heaven said and I looked at her. "She love you dearly and all of us know she can do anything for you. Pero bakit mo siya iniwan?"

"Kulang pa ba?" Marco asked.

Sobra... sobra sobra pa. But I chose to kept quite. I can't tell them my story. It's okay to me na ako nalang isipin nilang masama.

My decision brought so much chaos. From the friendship we built in PBB house turned to ashes of the past. It was my fault, no one to blame but me.