You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)

Chapter 6

I was scared so I stood up to go back home. It was weird, actually. I mean, I wanted to run away from there but also run to there. Either way, Aneel wasn't as creepy as this man. I was just about to walk away when someone grabbed my arm tightly. Shock went through my body and I turned around to see that the creepy man was standing in front of me. He looked at me with disgust, a smirk plastered on his face and fear was rising in me. My heart started beating faster and I felt like I wasn't safe.

"Osman got himself a pretty one, huh?" he said, eyeing me from head to toe. I felt disgusted immediately and flashbacks appeared in my mind but I ignored them. I didn't want to respond to what he said. Ignoring is the best, I thought, so I tried to get away but his hand tightened around my arm. My hands started shaking softly because of the fear and I was looking around if there was anyone but there was no one to be seen. My legs felt weak and I did my best to still stand on my feet.

"You're pretty, aren't you, good girl?" he said and I was about to throw up my not eaten breakfast. I was scared and kept looking around to see someone and my eyes even searched for Aneel, but there was no one around. I always knew I had bad luck. I always knew that there was no one to help me when I needed it.

"I'll come back" he said and let go of me. He threw me a last look and disappeared. I ran towards the house as fast as I could and went inside. I locked the door and sat down against it, because my legs couldn't hold me anymore. I began breathing heavily. Should I tell Aneel? What kind of question was that? Of course not. He would give me with his bare hands to that man. I would rather be with Aneel than with a man as scary as him. I looked over at the couch and saw Aneel lying there with a cigarette between his lips, watching TV.

"I'm going out tonight" he said without looking up. I rolled my eyes. Why was he even telling me? He shouldn't even bother.

"You don't need to tell me" I said and walked over to the bedroom. I really needed a shower. Just when I was about to take clothes from the drawer, Aneel came to the room. He looked at me intensely for a second and I felt uncomfortable. I knew he was doing this on purpose.

"You know, you were lucky that the doorbell rang" he said, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pocket and a cigarette between his lips. I didn't understand what he meant.

"What?" I said while looking for my grey sweatpants. I was sure that I had seen it here.

"If he didn't come.. You knew what would've happened. Lucky you" he said while smirking. He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow, as if he was challenging me. I took a deep breath and thought of what I should say. I needed him to know that I was able to talk too. Not that it would happen often. I mean, it always got me in problems. I walked over to him and stood close. I looked up at him and smirked when his bored expression didn't change. I looked confident but from the inside I was scared to death. Scared that he might slap me or anything else that could hurt me. You know, the stuff that always happened.

"If you were a real man, you'd know that you shouldn't hit women" and with that I walked off. But of course, he wouldn't let it go so easily. He responded immediately.

"How do you know what a real man is? Your dad and brother hit you all the time. But I forgot, you are the cause of it yourself" and with that I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and was about to slap him but he took hold of my hand.

"A man can only be slapped once. I already used that chance" he said and his hold on my wrist tightened. It was hurting so much that I couldn't take it anymore

"Let go! It hurts" I said and he looked at my hand and let go in disgust, as if his own touch on me was burning him. That did hurt but I shrugged it off.

"I'm going" he said and walked away. I sighed and went to take a shower. I didn't dare to look in the mirror, cause I didn't want to break down by looking at myself. The moments when I look in the mirror were the moments that all my walls broke down, which weren't even steady, and I didn't want to fight it at that moment cause I was already tired of all the things that had happened that day. I let the hot water stream down. It was hotter than it was supposed to be but I liked it. I felt my body burn but I didn't care. It was like a punishment for me. It was like, as if I was punishing myself for what my family did, but in a way it made me feel numb. The hot water made my brain freeze and I was never really able to think when I was standing under it, letting it rain over me.

Just when I was about to fall asleep on the couch, the doorbell rang. I was watching a movie that I still didn't know what it was about. I froze, cause I didn't think someone would come other than Aneel. It couldn't be him cause I knew he had a key on his own with him. I sat up and listened. Maybe I was able to hear who it was.

"Open the freaking door!" oh, definitely Aneel. I rolled my eyes and went to open the door and saw that he wasn't alright. He tried to come inside, but he couldn't even walk properly. He crashed into the door and was about to fall when I helped him. I helped him inside and he sat on the couch. I then saw that he was holding a bottle of alcohol. He took a sip of it and just stared at the wall. His eyes were completely red and his face was a bit puffy. There was something really wrong with this guy.

"Don't you know that it is haraam to drink?" I dared to ask. I wanted to see his reaction to that. He let out a humorless laugh and looked at me. He was not too drunk but I could see that he had drunk a little more than he could bare. His eyes were as cold as always, which didn't surprise me anymore.

"Who said I would be stupid enough to be Muslim?" he said while taking another sip. I couldn't believe my eyes and my mouth went open. He saw that and smirked, this time with humor.

"What? Can't you believe? I'm not that dumb to believe in a God. You should've had that figured out by now already. But you couldn't, cause you are stupid" he said. I ignored the last part because I was still in shock that he wasn't Muslim. It didn't surprise me because I've been growing up with non-Muslims, but being married to one was kind of different. I needed to know why he was not believing. The curiosity in me was eating me.

"Why? Why don't you believe?" I asked, taking advantage of his drunk state. He smirked again. What was it with him and smirking. His actions were always so weird and random.

"Your God left me when I needed him the most" he said.

"That's why I don't believe in that crap" he added to it. I wanted to know. What had happened so badly that he punishes Allah for it? Did he really went through a lot to be like this? Millions of questions were going through my mind.

"What happened?" I asked. His expression changed and I could see his eyes darken a bit. He was angry. His eyes always gave it away. I fidgeted with my fingers, ignoring that they became sweaty. I tried to ignore the memories, but it was no use. I knew that he was going to come over and act kind like they would, and then, would just beat me till I was almost losing it. That was what they always did. My hands went up in the air, as if that was going to protect me.

"Why would I tell you? You are just a piece of waste my parents earned money from" he said as if it was so normal. Without any emotion. Nothing. His words got to me and even though I knew it was true, it still hurt to hear that. Especially from someone I just met. I hold the tears in and made my way over to my room, not wanting to cry in front of him.

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Final editing done (04-09-2016)

Thank you so much for everything!

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