You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)

Chapter 18

"Sahra, look at this. You have to buy this dress" Aisha said while holding a long dress. I looked at it and smiled a little. It was very beautiful.

"No, it would suit you better. And why would I need to buy a dress which I'll never wear" I said looking at other stuff. We went to the mall with Aisha the day after I called her. I was a bit scared that Aneel would be mad but he was actually very nice about it.

"Is it okay if I go to the mall with Aisha tomorrow?" I asked him. Back home I wasn't allowed to go. I felt a bit uneasy to ask him since I didn't know what he would say. I didn't know what he would do. I really hoped he didn't react like my father did.

"Sure, no problem" he answered, to which I smiled. I was glad that he responded nice and not like them.

"Do you need money?" he asked when I was brushing my hair. I was busy looking at my hair and trying to imagine myself with a scarf.

"Sahra" he said and I snapped out of my daydream. I looked over at him.

"Oh yeah, sorry. No thanks, I have my own money" I said while going through my hair with my fingers.

"Please, take it" he said and handed me some money.

"Sahra, it would definitely look beautiful on you. You have to buy this" Aisha said while hugging the dress. I shook my head and bit my lip. There was no way I was going to buy that dress.

"Fine. Just try it on then, for me" she said while pouting like a kid and I sighed. I took the dress from her and went to try the dressmwithout saying anything. I didn't bother to look in the mirror because I was not going to buy it anyway. I came out the dressing room and walked over to Aisha. She looked from head to toe. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Was it really that bad?

"I knew it would look ugly on me" I said feeling uncomfortable. Nothing really suited me and I never really had much to wear.

"Are you crazy?! You look amazing!" She said. I smiled a bit, although I knew it wasn't true.

After a while we went to a little restaurant to have lunch. I looked at the bag in my hand. Why did I waste money on something I knew I'd never wear. Aisha said she would cut me in pieces if I didn't buy it. She wouldn't go out of the store till I bought it. We ordered and talked and talked. We talked about Ibrahim and Aneel. She said that she talked with him to see if he regrets anything but she said he didn't look regretful at all. He didn't even look hurt that she wasn't with him anymore. I saw that she had it difficult with that, but she was a strong girl. She was the strongest girl I'd ever seen.

"How are things with Aneel? Are you sure you want to stay with him?" She asked. Of course not.

"I know we will divorce at some point. We just never talked about it" I said. She looked at me, rolling her eyes.

"You need to talk to him. I can't see you hurt" she said. I smiled at her, feeling better when she said that. I didn't know whether she meant it or not but the thought of it made me feel nice.

"See you later Aisha. Assalamu alaykum" I said when I got out of her car.

"You too. Ve aleykum selam" she said and drove away. I went over to the door and went inside. When I stepped inside the living room, I didn't see Aneel. I looked around and saw that the balcony door was open. I went over to the balcony and saw Aneel sitting on the floor with a cigarette in his hand. Then I saw a bottle of alcohol on the floor. I went over to him and took the alcohol. He looked straight and didn't look at me. I threw the alcohol in the trashcan. I then went over to him and sat down next to him.

"Why are you like this Aneel" I said sighing as I took his cigarette and threw it away. What was it what he was thinking of. Why was he in such a pain? I then saw a tear streaming down his face. He didn't cry, it was just one single tear. I brushed his tear away and he closed his eyes, sighing.

"I miss her so much. I messed up everything" he said. I took his hand in mine to comfort him. He looked over at it and pushed my hand gentle away. I sighed.

"Aneel, what's past is past. You can't change it. The only thing you can do is to remember the good times" I said. I didn't know what he went through so I didn't exactly know what I could've said. I wasn't good with talking to people since I wasn't allowed to have friends or people talking to me at school. Ibrahim made sure no one approached me anyway.

"It hurts when I think about it. She died because of me. Because of my mistakes she died" He said putting his head between his knees. I didn't know what to say. Dead? Who? Maryam? Someone else? Millions of thoughts went through my head.

"I couldn't even tell her that I love her" he said. I was confused. I didn't know what to say but felt guilty. He looked so vulnerable, as if he was lost. His talk didn't make sense but I didn't want to push it, knowing how he could react.

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