I woke up in a bed I'd never slept in before. I turned around with a confused look and saw Aneel sleeping peacefully. He was at the edge of the bed, as far as he could be from me. I ignored the events of last night and stood up, making my way to the bathroom. After a while, I came out and saw Aneel looking in the mirror putting on a shirt. He didn't look at me but I knew he was aware of my presence.
"You know, just that you were scared last night doesn't mean I don't hate you" he said, in his famous harsh tone.
"I get it" I said. He stopped with what he was doing and I guess he didn't expect me to say something like that. He came closer and I pushed myself back.
"You know, you slept with me. That would technically make you a who-" he was saying when I interrupted him.
"Don't. Don't you dare finish that word. I'm not some whore okay? I never touched a boy. I have never slept with anyone. Don't think everyone is like Maryam" I said but immediately regretted it. I knew she was a soft spot for him, whoever she is. And only Allah can judge someone, I didn't even know the girl. But it just flopped out to piss him off.
He looked at me with an angry look and took a step forward, but didn't really manage to do that smoothly and stumbled, slamming me against the wall. My mouth opened, but I couldn't say anything. Air was knocked out of me and a few seconds later the pain started. For some reason it felt all too familiar and I started to shake and breathe heavily. I was prepared for the next move. He stood there and looked at my face that had pain visible, since my back did hurt real bad. I looked at him in disgust, feeling a little betrayed even though it looked like an accident. He looked me in the eyes and tried to come close but I took a few steps away from him. I was so scared. Every single time I was slammed against the wall crept up into my mind and I was afraid that it would happen again. It was going to happen again.
"Please Sahra I'm sorry. Please le-" he said but I interrupted him. I shook my head.
"Just go" I said and tried to walk away again but he grabbed my arms. I tried to escape but he held tighter. Fear went through my blood, leaving me paralyzed to even move.
"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't mea-" He said but I couldn't take it anymore. Tears were streaming down and I hated that I cried in front of him. He let go of me, turning me around to face him. I just took steps back, wanting to be as far away as I could from him.
"Go" I yelled. We stood there for a moment but he let go, nodded and went. I sat down on the floor hugging myself. I couldn't shake off the goosebumps that rose up, making me remember all the times from before. Tears started streaming down my face. I was crying for the times that I called for help but no one answered. I was crying for the times when they beat me up that bad that I was unconscious for hours, days. I was crying because I was the weak, annoying burden that belonged nowhere. I was a waste and I knew it.
I dried my face with the sleeves of my shirt and made my way over to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror.
"You are going to be strong" I told myself, the complete opposite of what I had been thinking about a few minutes ago. I didn't know where it came from but I didn't think much of it. I looked into my eyes. They were a bit puffy and red and my face was pale, just like any other day. I remembered the girl in the mirror that I hadn't seen for so long. My eyes were the same like then. This girl, I hadn't seen her for weeks, but I knew she would come back eventually. I wiped away my tears.
"You are going to fight. Not for anyone. For yourself" I said and closed my eyes with force. I heard that voice. That random voice that appeared in my mind. The voice I didn't know who it belonged to.
'You going through these things is only trial. Don't lose and certainly don't lose the lesson. Hold on. Trust Allah. You always forget Him. Open your eyes and look around. Look around and search the truth. Look for Allah. If you can find Him, you'll win', the voice said. I opened my eyes immediately in shock. The headache I got when the voice appeared was present and it did hurt, even more than before. I pulled my hair and sat down on the cold floor of the bathroom, letting the pain get to me. I wanted to be patient and wait for the pain to go by itself, rather than screaming.
After a while I sat down on the couch with a book in my hand. It was the book that girl gave me. After what happened, I felt the need to read it. I wasn't going to but my instincts told me I should've. I opened the first page and began reading. Tears were about to fall but I pushed them back. No more crying, I told myself.
I guess you are now at the edge of everything. Edge of ending your life. Just one little push, and you would fall. But is it worth it? The people who made you like this. It is worth to end yourself because of them? They don't deserve anything. Fight, but fight for yourself. Pray, Allah always listens. Pray, five times a day. Praying is the first thing Allah is going to ask you at the day of Judgement. It is so important, that Allah is going to say to His Angels; 'If this person prayed every prayer right, send that person to Jannah, I don't have to see anything else'. That explains how important it is. Start with praying and everything would come itself.
I couldn't read further. Not because I didn't want to. No, I had a blurry vision because of the tears and it didn't help drying my eyes. My eyes were like a waterfall. I closed the book and sat a little like that, thinking about the words. After a while, I made my way over to the kitchen. I looked in the fridge and found some food. When I was about to grab an apple the doorbell rang. I walked over to the door and opened it. My eyes widened and fear started coming again. I never knew that this man would show up, let alone when Aneel wasn't home. It was the man who sold Aneel some drugs and the same man who scared me in the park. And he was now smirking back at me, looking at me evilly..
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OOOOH, what will happen?
YOU ARE READING
You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)
Spiritual"I know that we will never be a real couple, but we can at least be nice to each other Aneel" I told him. I've had enough. Tears were starting to prick my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. He looked over at me in a weird expression. Like if I died i...
