"Remember that the help of Allah is obtained with patience, and relief emerges after distress, prosperity follows adversity and hardship is followed by ease.." I heard that voice saying. I looked around. Everything was white. I ran around and around to see where it came from. I looked at my left and saw Ibrahim with his parents next to him. They were smirking at me and I took steps back while they took steps forward. I felt the tears streaming down my face. No! No, please don't do anything! I turned around and saw my grandmother. She was just nodding her head the whole time. I tried to run to her but my legs couldn't move. It was like I was on autopilot. They were all coming towards me. I saw the face of Ibrahim and just wanted to throw up.
"Aneel!" I yelled, trying to find him. I couldn't see him. I heard voices so I turned to the other side. That's where I saw them. Her, him and Yessin.. They were taking steps back instead of the rest taking steps to me. I pulled my hair because it did hurt. I was screaming and yelling for them to come but they just walked further away. I felt Ibrahim grabbing my arm.
"You won't go anywhere. You belong to us. We own you" he said pulling my hair so that I was turned around and was face to face with them. I saw his father coming towards me with a lighter. No! I screamed in my head. Not again! It hurts, please don't do it! Don't burn me please I can't take it! I yelled in my head. I tried to scream but suddenly my voice was gone. I was trying so hard that my throat hurt. He came closer and closer and put my shirt on fir-
"No!" I yelled while sitting up. I looked around and saw that I was in Aneel's bed. I began breathing heavily and couldn't help but cry out loud. It was just a dream, I was telling myself the whole time. I started to scream and I choked for air. I didn't know what was happening but I had no control. That's when I felt someone hugging me and I placed my head in the person's chest.
I heard Masara reciting the Qur'an. I was still crying and screaming and I really did want it to stop, but it just didn't work. I had no control over my body. It was like I was dead but only my inside was alive. I felt nothing. I couldn't. It hurt. Everything that happened, it was still present. My past is still there with me. They won't leave me. I tried to focus on Masara's reciting, maybe it would help calm me down.
'Its okay, dont worry. Everything will fall into pieces. Have sabr, and pray. Pray for all what you want, because if you want peace you need to pray. Don't forget what I said in your dream..', that voice said out of nowhere. I just wanted to close my eyes and never wake up again.
"Sahra, wake up" I felt someone squeezing my hair. I looked up and saw Masara looking at me. I groaned and sit up. It felt like I haven't slept it all. And that's when everything came back. I felt my eyes tear. It was.. it was so painful. It was like I was in a dead end street and couldn't go anywhere. It was like I was left in the darkness and there was no light to pull me out. I saw Masara looking at me with a weird expression.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly and I nodded. I didn't want it actually, but something inside me told me to. She sat down beside me on the bed and I sighed.
"I had a nightmare.. It was just.. They wanted to..to burn me again. H-he came with a lighter and put my shirt on fire.. They did it b-before. That's why I have all these burn scars on my back. No one, no one has ever seen them.. Even Aneel.. and the memory, it was just all too much" I said putting my face in my hands. I felt her pulling up the hem of my shirt and looked at my back. I didn't want to look in her eyes anymore. I didn't want people to feel guilty. I didn't want people laugh at me because of my ugly scars.
"Ya Allah! How did they do this?! Are they even human?!" she said with her hands on her mouth. I looked at her for a second before looking away.
"You have to go to the police! They need to be behind bars!" she said but I shook my head immediately. If I do such thing, they would never leave me. I wiped away my stupid tears which never left me alone and Masara sighed.
"Sahra, look at me" she said and I did what she said.
"You are going to be strong, okay? You are going to show them that you are worth more. You are going to show them what kind of independent woman you became. You will let them see that they did good to let you marry Aneel. You girl, will let them see how damn rich you are now without them. And most importantly, you will let them see that they can't take you down anymore" she said and I looked at her as if she had grown a second head.
"What?" I asked her, not really knowing what she meant.
"If I went through what you went through, I would've killed myself by now. You are strong. You can do whatever you want without people saying anything. You are independent, like our women has to be. You married this guy and he at least lets you stay and is there for you, even though he is more messed up himself. And you are rich. You are rich when you have people around who care about you. Like me, Aneel and even Hamza. No one can take you down and you are gonns show them" she said and I looked at her with wide eyes. Did she really think I could do these things?..
"Yes girl, and I, oh my god I am just so amazing, I am gonna help you!" She said standing up and laughing. I swear she is weird.. but I like her.
We were preparing dinner while Masara was teaching me Ayat-al kursi. She said that if I recited it before sleeping, I wouldn't have these nightmares because the angels would stay by my side to protect me. So we were reciting it together.
"No, its not neb, its nevm" she said laughing while placing the plates on the table and I tried it again. When I was almost finished without flaws, the doorbell rung. We looked at each other and she nodded for me to open. I went to the door and opened it and saw a guy. The guy who was always around Aneel. Hamza. I felt Masara coming towards us and when she saw him, she ran up to him and hugged him. It was so cute and I had never seen stuff like this. It felt awkward and I wanted to look away but it looked really beautiful. Would I ever be like this with Aneel? No. I shook my head to forget that thought.
"Masara, I know, I love myself too but you have to let go. Its important" he said and she groaned before letting go. She looked like a little child and I smiled. He looked at me and I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. I immediately felt nervous and knew something was wrong.
"Sahra, you have to come with me. Aneel. He is fighting. He is fighting with Yassir" he said and it felt like someone pulled a knife inside of me..
~~~~~
Final Editing Done (04-11-2016)
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YOU CAN FIND THE EDITED 'ISLAM IS MY LIFE' LESSONS IN A SEPARATE BOOK ON MY PROFILE.
Islam is my Life:)
Pray, pray before its too late. What would you do, what would you do if you say one day 'I will start praying tomorrow' but you woke up and found out that you actually died in your sleep? What would you say to Allah when you wanted to pray tomorrow but died today? How will you explain the fact that you didnt had time for praying, while you had time for other things? What will your excuse be when Allah asks you where your prayers are? And most importantly, why wont you thank Allah for everything you have?
Praying is really important. The first thing Allah is gonna ask you is 'did you pray'. If its so important that Allah said that, I think there has to be something wrong with us if we dont follow that order. Our Prophet, even our Prophet (pbuh) prayed while he had no sin. His wife Aisha (pbuh) asked him why he prayed while he is flawless. He said back to her 'Cant I even thank him Aisha?' If even Our Prophet prayed, I think that we would loose a really big thing if we dont.
I know, especially with teenagers how difficult it can be. I mean I prayed like one week and than two weeks not and than three weeks I prayed so it wasnt regular. But now alhamdulillah I try to pray every salaah. If its diffcult for you, just tell yourself: ten minutes, its just gonna take ten minutes. These ten minutes will maybe be my bridge to Jannah. Maybe it will take you to Jannah. Maybe Allah will give more than you already have. When you pray, you will see that everything turns positive in life. Okay, there is always some negativity, cause I mean, when we do a test at school, there is always a question which is difficult, right? So is life, of course there will be negativity, but what would you know? Maybe the thing that you thought was bad, was actually a good thing for you? So pray, ask Allah everything and thank him. It will turn out good, I can guarantee you.
Since I started praying, I really felt clean. I mean, I feel like I know that I am doing right and it helps me not to think about haraam stuff much and not to do it. Just when I am about to think for example bad about someone, its always prayer time and than it always hits me that I shouldnt. Praying helps, really. So before its too late, pray.. cause one day they will pray for you..
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You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)
Spiritual"I know that we will never be a real couple, but we can at least be nice to each other Aneel" I told him. I've had enough. Tears were starting to prick my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. He looked over at me in a weird expression. Like if I died i...
