My sleep was gone and I was tossing around the whole time. I stood up and went to the living room, seeing Aneel's laptop. I took it and placed it on my lap, wanting to distract myself till my sleep would arrive again. I was just messing around when I saw a file. It was called 'Maryam'. I wanted to look at what it was, but I didn't press on it since it was his privacy. I just wanted to run around on the Internet till I could sleep again. Out of nowhere, I heard some noises and soon enough Aneel came out of his room.
"I forgot to say that your parents invited us for dinner tomorrow" he said, but his eyes fell on his laptop. I was getting nervous and looked down, since he was looking at me with angry eyes.
"What were you doing with my laptop?" he spat out. He came over and grabbed it roughly from me.
"Nothing, ... I just-" I couldn't even finish my sentence. He looked at the laptop. He hold a gaze that was terrifying and he neared towards me.
"Did you open that?" he asked quietly. He would start yelling. 'He would start yelling, just a minute and he would yell and then beat you. He will just ruin you. He will just- stop it!'
"..No, vallahi" I said.
"Tell me the truth, did you see it?" he asked again.
"No, I swear" I said, looking with confident eyes at him so he would believe me. He threw me one last angry look before going back to his room. I sat down and began breathing heavily. 'It's okay, he didn't do anything', I tried to comfort myself. It was like my own therapy; I learned it myself. I needed to teach it myself because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have survived. I got up, stepping into my room and locking the door. Just in case he decided to punish me, like they did.
Sahra... SAHRA" I heard a voice waking me up from my dreams. I opened my eyes and got up, unlocking my door. He knew my name.
"You know my name" I said in disbelief. He looked at me like I just came from another planet when he was fixing his watch. He was dressed up and ready to go out.
"Of course I do" he said, while rolling his eyes.
"Why did you wake me up?" I asked him.
"Change of plans. Your parents called and said that we should go to have breakfast at theirs and that we will have dinner with the two families together, dammit" he said the last one to himself when he couldn't fix his watch. I rolled my eyes. This day was starting all good. Note the sarcasm.
"I don't like it either, so stop with the glaring" I said when he was throwing looks and went to the bathroom before he could say anything. I looked in the mirror. My messy hair was there as always, just like the bags under my eyes. I let the water flow and washed my face, looking at my lips and cheeks that were now wet. The insecurity was always present, always. I didn't like what I was seeing so that's why I always tried to avoid mirrors.
"Look at your pathetic self here, married to that handsome guy" I whispered, looking myself deadly in the eyes.
"You will never be like one of those girls" I said, letting my eyes flow with tears. Before I knew it, my eyes closed and I felt a headache creep up. I hold my hand to my head and heard a voice. A voice that I did remember. I started sweating and I grabbed the counter to steady myself.
"Allah loves you the way you are, don't do that" I heard. It was the same voice as the voice on the day when I was about to kill myself. What was that? Who.. Who was it? I opened my eyes and looked around. No one. I looked around for one more time but still didn't see anyone. I shrugged it off, getting out of the bathroom because Aneel kept yelling at me to hurry up.
~~~~
Final Editing Done: 23-09-2016
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Spiritual"I know that we will never be a real couple, but we can at least be nice to each other Aneel" I told him. I've had enough. Tears were starting to prick my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. He looked over at me in a weird expression. Like if I died i...
