He sat down on the couch when I told him to wait for me. I went to the bathroom and did wudu. After that, I grabbed a scarf and put it on my head. I grabbed my Qur'an room and went back quickly to the living room. When he saw what I had in my hand, he shook his head, rolled his eyes and tried to stand up but I stopped him. I pushed him back down by his chest and he sat down, not resisting. I sat down beside him, and opened the Surah. I began reciting Surah Maryam. It's s such a beautiful Surah. It is about our mother Maryam. I adore her so much, cause she went through a lot. In a century like that, she didn't know how to explain people about her child when she wasn't even married, cause it wasn't normal back then. People would call you a witch and other names. It was just against their pride, but Allah gave her the strength. She was amazing.
I looked over at Aneel when I was reciting the part that I had memorized. He had his eyes closed. He looked so calm and peaceful. When I looked closely, I realized something which made my eyes widen. I looked at his lips and saw that he was reciting along with me. How.. how did he know this? He didn't believe, did he..? I closed my eyes to calm down cause I knew that if I stopped with reciting, he would stop too and that was not what I wanted. I wanted him to feel what I felt when I read the Qur'an. I felt so safe and right. Like there is nothing in the world that could hurt me.
'He was once Muslim too, have patience. Wait' that voice said and I half-smiled. I couldn't stop myself from reading and tears started to stream down. It was like it wasn't my voice anymore. It was like I couldn't stop it after I saw him recite with me, being scared that when I do he won't ever do it again.
"Ameen" I said and closed the Quran after what felt like hours. I looked over at Aneel, curious of his reaction.
"Aneel?" I said with a soft voice. I couldn't make him mad. That was not what I needed.
"Hmm" he said busy with his phone which he just grabbed out of his pocket.
"Why don't you believe anymore?" I dared to ask. I really started to think that it was because of what happened to Maryam, even though I didn't know what had happened. He turned towards me and I could already see the fire in his eyes.
"That's none of your business. Don't think that just because I acted weak today means that I'm going to be nice to you. No one can and will take Maryam's place" he said. I raised my eyebrows. What kind of things were going through his mind. Why would I want to take her place?
"I wasn't planning on to take her place, if that's what you have been thinking about me" I replied while standing up. I gave him a last look and went to my room, locking myself in it. Every time I took a step closer and he responded to it, he would take steps back, letting us go to the beginning again.
And after that, he was like that for two weeks. He never talked to me, only answered my questions shortly. He came home late each day and never ate dinner with me anymore. I tried, I tried so hard to fulfill my promise to Maryam but he wouldn't let me. I had no idea what to do, but the only thing I knew was that I had to be patient. I still comforted him when he had a nightmare about Maryam. I still cried when he cried for her. I didn't know what to do when he came home being drunk and eyes red. I didn't know what he was doing or where he was.
He came home late and I was waiting, again, that he would come and we would have dinner together. He wasn't drunk which I was happy about. My dad and Ibrahim always beat me up worse when they were drunk. I was happy that Aneel didn't lay a finger on me. I sighed when Aneel sat down on the couch. I looked at him and rolled my eyes. He fought again. He was fighting sometimes. I never knew with who or anything. The only thing I knew was that he did fighting. I think he was like a member of the underground and boxed there, cause you can't get in that many street fights, as he called them, without being caught. I made my way over to him and did the stuff I always did. Taking his shirt off, looking everywhere to search for bad injuries, clean it up, being yelled by Aneel, cry and go to sleep. I took off his shirt and saw a few bruises on his chest. It was hard working on it though since I felt intimidated when he has his shirt off. I cleaned it up and his expression didn't change when I put some rubbing alcohol on a cut. When I finished, he looked me in the eyes. I sighed. I needed to put my courage together and solve this.
"I know that we will never be a real couple, but we can at least be nice to each other Aneel" I told him. I've had enough. Tears were starting to prick my eyes but I didn't let them fall. He looked over at me in a weird expression. Like if I died in front of him, he wouldn't care. He was always putting a mask on and it was always so difficult to read his expression, and that scared me. He stood up when I was sitting on the floor and while doing this, he pushed me so I fell backwards. It did hurt- it did hurt so much. Air was knocked out of my lungs but I got up, ignoring my inner protests to stop so I wouldn't get punished. My hands started to shake and I couldn't feel my legs, but he didn't need to see that.
"You don't get it, do you? I. will. never. love. you! I will never care for you. You wait, every day, for me to come home and have dinner with you like normal couples do- you are pathetic. You are nothing. Absolutely nothing to me. You are not even worth my words. You are a loser who has nobody- your parents? They are just like me. They knew that you were worthless and wanted to get rid of you" he said angrily. I looked him in the eyes. I was not angry at him. He was telling the truth. I'm nothing. Never was, never will. I was used to these words since I was born. I nodded. He was right. He was so damn right. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't care about this life. I felt my legs move and I ran out of the house. I couldn't stand being there one more second. It was like I wouldn't be able to breathe when I was still in there. I ran and ran and stopped when I came to a dark alley. On a normal day, I wouldn't even walk here, but I couldn't care. It was dangerous but I didn't care. I let the tears fall of losing and breathed heavily. It didn't matter. I didn't care about anything. I tried to catch my breath and looked up to see a dark figure. When I looked closer, my eyes widened. He looked very angry, angry and drunk. The fear in me started to raise and I knew it was my end.
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WHO IS THAT
Final Editing Done (11-10-2016)
YOU ARE READING
You, my Punishment (Islamic Story)
Spiritual"I know that we will never be a real couple, but we can at least be nice to each other Aneel" I told him. I've had enough. Tears were starting to prick my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. He looked over at me in a weird expression. Like if I died i...
