Freak Show (Carnival Series book 1)

Chapter 15

Jc and I were in his car, after we had dropped everyone off at the correct places. We were parked outside my house, the car still running. 

"You feeling any better?" Jc asks me. I nod slightly. He sighs. "What happened that made you so," he hesitated. "Depressed? Like, on day, you were all fine. When we found Trevor, you were upset, but you didn't seem that bad. Why did you dissapear, Andraya?" I look down at my lap, my shorts barely making it out from under my shirt. 

"I spoke to Trevor again, a week after we found him," I explain. "He hates me, Jc. He hates me, and it's my fault he does." Jc leans over and hugs me. He gently pats my back, and I let out a shaky breath. 

"I don't think he hates you. I think he's sad about his rejection, and that turned into anger. He was taking it out on you. That's not fair of him, and you should talk to him again." I look at Jc. 

"Are you crazy?" I say to him. "Why would I talk to the very person who causes me so much pain, so much stress?" Jc frowns. 

"Because I think it would help the both of you. You're both depressed, and helping each other would do miracles. I want you to talk to him, because I care about both of you." he explains to me. I look away from him. Jc grabs my arm. "Please," he begs. I sigh, and pull my arm away from him. I get out of the car and go inside, not looking back. 

I ended up thinking about Jc's words for a week. I keep thinking back to it, him looking so worried and me leaving him in the car. I hadn't said anything. I ignored his request and left him. The more i think about it, the more guilty I feel. He only wanted to help both Trevor and I, and I ditched him. 

I have had enough. 

I'm done lying in my bed, moping. I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I'm done wishing Trevor wouldn't hate me. 

I get up, get dressed, do my hair and make up. I grab my phone, and throw it into a small bag. I put on my shoes and walk out the door. I am going to Trevor's house. I am going to tell him what he has done to me and how done I am with him. 

I walk to his house and ring the doorbell. Trevor answers the door. 

"H-hi," I say to him. He slams the door in my face. Well, fuck you too. I turn around and sit down on the door step. I'm not moving until I get to talk to him. 

I must've been sitting for at least an hour, doing random things on my phone, when suddenly, the door to Trevor's house opened. I looked and found Mr. Moran at the door. 

"Andraya! What are you doing here?" He asks me in surprise. I stand up. 

"I came here to talk to Trevor." I tell him. 

"Did you ring the doorbell?" He asks me. I nod. "Did someone ever come to the door?" I nod. "Didn't they let you in?" I shook my head. He frowns. 

"Trevor answered the door, and shut it immediately." Mr. Moran gasped. 

"He did? I'm sorry, he just hasn't been himself. He started online schooling a while ago, all because he didn't want to socialize," Mr. Moran explains. I nod. "I was just about to head to the store. You can go in if you want..." He opens the door for me. "Trevor!" he shouts. I stand in the doorway. "Trevor, get down here!" I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Trevor appears at the bottom of the stairs.

"Dad." Trevor groans. His dad was glaring at him. 

"Talk to her," Mr. Moran commanded, then left the house. I walk up to Trevor.

"Thanks for slamming the door in my face, dipshit. I loved that." I spit at him. He glares at me, and walks upstairs. I follow him. 

"Talk to me. Explain to me why you hate me so much," I shout at his back. "Explain to me why I spent the last month and a half drowning in desolation. Explain to me why every time I think that I'm feeling up to do something with myself, by the end of the day I'm on the floor in a puddle of tears. Tell me why my life was destroyed by you!" Trevor stops. He turns around to look at me. I could feel my face heat up with anger. He came up to me and stopped inches from my face. 

"I don't know why. I'm not you. That's your problem. I don't see why you need to drag me into it." He turns around and keeps walking to his room. I grab his arm and spin him around again. 

"You've taken my life and ripped it to shreds. You sure as hell were already a part of it. You are the whole reason any of my problems exist. Do not tell me you have no idea why my life is a screwed up mess. You know exactly why!" I scream at him. I really hope there isn't anyone home. He wiggles from my grasp and scoffs in disgust. He goes into his room and slams the door. I walk up to his dooor and try to open it. Dammit, he locked it. I drop to the floor, my back resting against his door. 

"Trevor!" I screech. My eyes were basically waterfalls at this point. I hug my legs to my chest and cry into my lap. My sobs were loud, and heartwrenching.  

Two hours later, the door opens. Trevor steps around me and walks into the bathroom across the hall. I run into his room, and sit down in the chair by the window. I know this is childish, but I need to talk to him. I don't see any other option. 

Trevor walks in the room and sees me by the window. He shuts the door and walks over to me. 

"What? What do you want from me? To say I'm sorry? I have nothing to be sorry for" He shouts at me. I could feel the puffiness of my eyes. They stung from crying, and I could tell they were bloodshot. 

"No," I whispered. "Please, Trevor. You shattered my heart. I'm here, trying to tell you that you destroyed me." I look up at Trevor. His eyes had softened, and he looked less angry. He knelt down to eye level, but he didn't look me in the eye. He looked at the ground, ashamed. 

I watched him as he ran a hand through his hair. "Andraya, I..." He started to say. He sighs. "I'm sorry," he whispers. I reach out and rest my hand on his shoulder. He looks at my arm, then looks at me. I sniffle softly. He leans forwards and embraces me in a warm hug. I hug him back, sobbing into his shoulder. He shushes me, stroking circles in my back. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers in my ear. I nod into his shoulder, accepting his apology.