Guilt // C.H.

Chapter 17: Hannah

(Hannah's POV)

*a week later*

I felt really tired as soon as I woke up. Is that possible?

I looked down, my wrists still had scars but it didn't really hurt, maybe because I had a bad headache.

"Hannah?" I heard a voice.

"Calum?" I said with a cracking voice.

He got up from the chair and walked closer to my bed.

I had quick flashbacks during his steps, so I remembered the whole 'attention seeker' thing. I didn't think I'd see him after that.

"A-are you okay?" He whispered.

"Am I still alive?" I asked.

"Yes." He answered.

"Then I'm not okay. I should've died." I said.

"Why?" He asked like my previous sentence was completely normal.

"Because, Calum. I have my reasons. You have more important things to worry about." I snapped.

"Your parents are coming today." He added a few minutes after my last sentence. "They'll probably be happier now you're better."

Who says I'm better?

"Do they really have to visit me?" I asked rolling my eyes.

Calum made a confused face.

"It's okay. I'm gonna pretend I'm sleeping so they'll leave soon, I guess." I added.

"Maybe Amber and I will come over after they leave." He said.

"Don't bother. If you remember me once in a while that's okay. You don't have to be here all the time." I said and turned to the wall showing Calum my back.

After that I just heard a door slam. He left again.

-

I really fell asleep when my parents came and I woke up a few hours after they left. There was a doctor.

"Miss Scott. I spoke to your parents." He said. "They have no idea what's going on with you but we think it's some sort of depression. So your parents agreed to let you go on rehab. You're gonna be under control so you won't be able to self harm or kill yourself anymore."

"Great." I groaned.

"Do you have any questions?" He asked me.

"So I'm going on rehab... for how long?" I asked.

"It's a four-week program, but we can make it longer if the pacient needs to stay more..." He explained.

So it's at least a month. I don't know if I'm gonna survive. Ugh.

"When does it start?" I asked my last question.

"You're starting it tomorrow." He said checking some papers in his hands.

I had no more questions, so he started explaining me the whole rehab thing.

You basically spend four weeks in their rehabilitation center. The first two weeks are reserved for spending time with a specialist, in my case a psychologist who will try to find the solutions to my problems. No visits are approved.

The third week is reserved for group counceling, you share your problem in front of a specialist and other people with the same problem. Still no visits are approved.

During the fourth week you do the same as the previous week but your family and friends can visit you and support you as being a part of the people who listen to you at the counceling.

I don't like it. I don't believe something will change after a month. It will just make people forget me and live their lives like I don't exist. But I had no power, I couldn't refuse to go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ahh this is making me cry too dammit!