Hetalia At Its Finest One-Shots

Crack Chat

Some thing they put in the coffee.

<Feliciano GimmePasta Vargas is now online>
<Felicia Vargas is now online>
<Lovino IDontWannaBeHere Vargas is now online>
<Alfred FREEDOM Jones is now online>
Lovino: How can you sit on something for so long? My ass is crying.
Feliciano: sounds like a personal issue, fratello..
Felicia: ..Omg
Lovino: it sorta is but I'm making it your problem now.
Feliciano: no, you keep your weird crying ass problems.
Lovino: you stupid fuck it isn't actually cryin! *slaps* god fratellino
Feliciano: *squeals and runs* not again!
Lovino: stupido Cagna cotta! Dio.. *sigh* idiota..
Feliciano: *straight face* well you know what, your boyfriend is walking around my house pantsless.... Cagna..
Lovino: Wha-
Son-of-a-bitch...
Feliciano: Hah..
Lovino: You won't be laughing when you find out how you won't be able to find your precious potato bastard again...
*Turns around and walks away innocently*
<Felicia Vargas is now offline>
Feliciano: No!! *Tackles* Dont you dare!
Lovino: *Falls over*
Wuah!
Get off me, bastard!
*Squirms*
Feliciano: Take that back! *Hold's him down*
Lovino: I will not!!
*Struggles to get loose*
You're the one that started it anyways you dumb-son-of-a-bitch!
Feliciano: It's not my fault he's walking around pantsless! *Keep's him held down* Say your fucking sorry!!
Lovino: Not before you admit the potato bastard would be better dead anyways!!
*Keeps squirming*
Feliciano: D-Dont say that!
Alfred: ...
Lovino: I'll say whatever the hell I want, dammit!
Feliciano: He would not be better dead! How would you like if i said america would be better dead?!
Lovino: Wh-
Well that's different!
Feliciano: How is it different?!
Alfred: *separates the two*
Okay first things first Im the hero, and heros wear underwear, not pants.
Secondly-
*the most fear strinking expression, one that'd change Sweden's and make Iceland scream*
How bout we shut the fuck up about death.
Feliciano: *Crosses arm's*
Lovino: *Cringes*
U-uh...
H-He started it!
*Points aggressively at Feliciano*
Feliciano: It wasn't me it was him!
Lovino: Liar! That's bullshit, Alfred let me hit this dumb fucker! Just once! All I need!
Feliciano: N-Non!
Alfred: I don't give a shit who started it, I'm ending it.
Lovino: *groans and huffs*
Feliciano: *crosses arms again*
Alfred: Punk ass italians..
Feliciano: *walks away*
Lovino: *Turns in the other direction grumbling*
Feliciano: *sits at the table*
Lovino: *Locks self in room*
...
*Being Italian, after a fight he cries*
*Feliciano don't lie you're crying right now aren't you*
*Little shit*
*Both of those fuckers better be crying their eyes out*
Alfred: *calmly walks away*
Feliciano: *crosses arms and lays head on table*
Lovino: *Oh wait, he's not crying there's just 'something in his eye'*
*Wipes away at his eyes sniffing a bit*
Feliciano: *Sniffles lightly wiping his eye's keeping his head down*
Lovino: *Silently cries*
*The sight of both of them must have been heartbreaking to see*
*That of course doesn't count if you're a heartless bastard but you know*
Feliciano: *Sit's up wiping his eye's looking around to make sure nobody was around*
*Then get's up to go find his brother*
Lovino: *After a few minutes he tries to wipe away as many tears as he can*
*Leaves the room to find after his brother*
Feliciano: M-Mi dispiace fratello....*Look's at his brother sadly*
Lovino: B-bene, fratellino... Mi dispiaces troppo... *Same look of sadness and shit*
*Someone better be fucking recording this*
Feliciano: B-But isn't alfred's house always under cam-Nevermind *Hug's his brother as a way of saying sorry even if he didn't like hug's*
Lovino: *Sighs and pats his head*
Stupid brother...
*Somewhat awkwardly hugs back*
Alfred: *groaning on the floor*
*rolling in circles*
*cries because DANDY*
Feliciano: *glances at alfred*
Lovino: *Was about to go back to his room*
*Saw Alfred*
*Just stares at him in pity* ...
Feliciano: *Tilt's his head looking at alfred* *Shrugs it off since it's alfred*
Alfred: Fucknuggets.
<Alfred FREEDOM Jones is now offline>
Lovino: *bleh*
<Lovino IDontWannaBeHere Vargas is now offline>
feliciano: Don't leave me here alone!
<Feliciano GimmePasta Vargas is now offline>
((btw, Im in a crack chat on Facebook, for hetalia XD that actually happened. So enjoy lol.))