Police👮:- Where do u live? Me🙎:- With my parents. Police👮:- Where do your parents live? Me🙎:- With me. Police👮:- Where do you all live? Me🙎:- Together. Police👮:- Where is your house? Me🙎:- Next to my neighbors house. Police👮:- Where is your neighbors house? Me🙎:- You won't believe me if i tell you. Police👮:- Tell me! Me🙎:- Next to mine.
-------------------------------------------------------------- Husband👱:- I lost my wife! She went shopping🛍 and hasn't come back yet. Inspector 🔍 :- What is her height? Husband👱:- I never checked. Inspector 🔍:- Slim or healthy? Husband👱:- Not slim. Can be healthy. Inspector 🔍:- Colour of eyes👁? Husband👱:- Never noticed. Inspector 🔍:- Color of hair? Husband👱:- Changing according to season. Inspector 🔍:- What was she wearing? Husband👱:- Not sure whether a dress👗 or a suit👔. Inspector 🔍:- Was she driving? Husband👱:- yes Inspector 🔍:- Colour of the car🚙?....... Husband👱:- black Audi with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptonic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has very thin scratch on the front left door................. And then the husband started crying... Inspector 🔍:- Don't worry sir. We will find your car.
-------------------------------------------------------------- Murder of English 1. Pick up the paper📰 and fall in the dustbin. 2. Both👭of you stand together separately. 3. Why are you looking at the monkeys🐒 outside when i am inside. 4. Will you hang the calendar🗓or else i will hang myself. 5. I have 2 daughters both are girls.👧 6. Give me a blue🔵 pen of any colour. 7. The principal is revolving the corridor. 8. All you stand in a straight circle.⭕️ 9. Open the window- Let the AIRFORCE come in
If a BARBER 💇 makes a mistake it's a new STYLE. If a POLITICIAN makes a mistake it's a new LAW. If a SCIENTIST👩🔬 makes a mistake it's a new INVENTION. If a TAILOR makes a mistake it's a new FASHION 👗. If a TEACHER👩🏫makes a mistake it's a new THEORY .
If a STUDENT👩🎓 makes a mistake it's a MISTAKE.
-------------------------------------------------------------- Emma:- What are you doing? Lily:- Recording the baby's 👶voice. Emma:- Why? Lily:- When he grows up i shall ask him what he meant by this.
-------------------------------------------------------------- Husband👱:- *calls hotel manager from his room*. Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump from your hotel window. Manager👩✈️:- Sir I'm sorry but this is your personal matter. Husband👱:- You Bastard! The window is not opening. That's a maintenance issue.
------------------------------------------------------- Teacher👩🏫:- Okay students today we are going to learn about tenses. Now if a say ''I'm beautiful,'' Which tense is it? Student👩🎓:- obviously it is the past tense.
-------------------------------------------------------------- Ahmed:- How was the paper? Awais:- It was easy butQ5 confused me. Ahmed:- What was the question? Awais:- It wanted the past tense of ''think''? I thought and thought and thought and ended up with writing📝 thinked.
-------------------------------------------------------------- I'm going to name my son👦 Physics Then I will be the father👨 of physics
-------------------------------------------------------------- Ayesha 👩:- Hi! I heard you failed your English exam? Aaima 👧:- Who telled you? That is unpossible, i sawed the result yesterday. I passed away!!!!!! Ayesha👩:- Ok bye Aaima👧 :- Bye bye god blast you!
-------------------------------------------------------------- SCHOOL LIFE Most irritating moments Morning alarms⏰ Most difficult task Finding🔍 socks Most dreadful journey Way to class Most lovely time Meeting friend👭👬 Most tragic moment Surprise test✍️ in first period Most wonderful news TEACHER👩🏫IS ABSENT
------------------------------------------------------------- Me:- Ok brain lets just focus🎯 for 45 minutes on this maths test, we can do this Brain:- DADADADA BANANA LALALALALA AFRO SQUIRREL POTATO LALALA.
------------------------------------------------------------- Parents:- What foreign language did you raje this year? Me:- Maths.
-------------------------------------------------------------- I just stepped on my cornflakes Now I am officially a cereal killer
-------------------------------------------------------------- Why does everybody feel safe under blankets?
It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna kill- ahhhh dammit she's under tge blankets...."
------------------------------------------------------------- SCHOOL - a fancy word for prison.
------------------------------------------------------------- Cookie🍪package:- DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH!! Me:- *Nods understandingly as I eat the cookie dough 🍨*
------------------------------------------------------------- I do what i want Where i want When i want
(If my mum's says it's okay)
-------------------------------------------------------------- I hate it when people visiting our house are like "Do you have a toilet🚽"
No we pee in the backyard.
-------------------------------------------------------------- *Working hard on homework* Phone📱:- 1 new message *picks up phone* *Mom walks in* Mom:- So you have been on your phone📱this entire time⌚️
