I will try to fix you (Andley)

Chapter thirteen

CC woke up and yawned. He accidently woke Jake up too. “Hmng” Jake murmured. CC softly pecked Jake’s lips “sorry baby, go back sleeping again” he said and kissed Jake’s forehead. “We’re all cute rebels aren’t we?” Andy asked smirking. Then a brilliant idea came up in me. “Baby, do you’ve have a pencil?” I asked. Andy grabbed one from the table and I started writing.

It took me fifteen minutes to write a whole song. I was so inspired. “Ashley what are you doing?” Andy asked a few times. But I didn’t answer. I was in my writing trance, and then I don’t notice anything what happens in the world around me. This house could burn down, and I wouldn’t even notice it.

“I wrote something” I said. “We see” Jinxx grinned. “Show us show us show us” CC said exiting. I showed them the paper. “By the way, thanks Andy for inspiring me” I smiled and kissed Andy passionate. He smiled too “you’re welcome Hun”.

Rebel Love song

I cannot hide, what’s on my mind, I feel it burning deep inside.
A passion crime to take what’s mine.
Let us just living for today.

Never gonna change my mind, we can leave this all behind.
Nothing’s gonna stop us, no not this time so
take your hand in mine it’s our tonight;
this is a rebel love song.
Hearts will sacrifice its do or die.
This is a rebel love song.

My outlaw eyes, have seen their lies, I’ll show them tomorrow and today.
When words still hide, what’s left inside, my hollow dial will hear you pray.

Never gonna change my mind, we can leave this all behind.
Nothing’s gonna stop us, no not this time so
take your hand in mine it’s our tonight;
this is a rebel love song.
Hearts will sacrifice its do or die.
This is a rebel love song.

Wild and running for one reason
they can’t stop us from our freedom

(wild and running for one reason, they can’t stop us from our freedom)

Chorus 2x

“Wow” CC said. “This is amazing” Jinxx added. And Andy only said “I love you baby”.

And for once in my life, I felt like I’d done something right. And I felt happy.

We talked for almost an hour and then we all went sleeping.

The next morning I woke up at ten am. Everyone was still asleep; CC laying with his head on Jake’s lap and Sammi snuggled up in Jinxx’ arms. They looked so cute. Then I realized that Andy wasn’t there anymore. The feeling of being worthless came up again.

I let out a soft sob which woke up CC. “Hey Ash, is everything okay buddy?” he asked when he saw me crying. “Andy left” I whispered. “He isn’t here and he didn’t wake me up or left me a note” I sobbed.

CC wrapped his arm around me. “I’m sure it’s okay Ashy”. I cried a little more when he called me Ashy.

Five minutes later, Jake, Jinxx and Sammi woke up too. “Good morning beautiful” CC said to Jake and pecked his lips softly. Jinxx said the same to Sammi and kissed her too. Suddenly I felt very lonely.

I took my phone and called Andy. He took his phone “Herro?” “Andy, where are you? Are you okay?” I asked worried. “I-I’m fine” he said. He was crying! “Andy, what’s going on? Why are you crying?” “M-my grandpa h-he had cancer and-and now he died” Andy cried. Andy loved his grandpa, it was his hero.

“Oh baby, I feel so sorry for you” I said “where are you now?” I asked. “Hospital, outside a-at the p-parking place” he replied. “I’m coming baby” I said.

“Is everything okay?” Sammi asked. “Andy’s grandpa died, he’s at the hospital now, I’m going there too.” I said as I grabbed my wallet. “Shall I bring you?” Jinxx asked “Andy has your car”. I just nodded “take me there soon please” I said and a tear rolled down my cheek. “Andy needs me, this hurt him so much” I sobbed.

Jinxx placed his hand on my shoulder “I’ll take you there buddy” he said softly and kissed my cheek. Just in a friendly way. I bit my lip and swallowed back my tears.

Jinxx and I got in his car and he drove us to the hospital. Jinxx brought me there and then drove home again. I would drive back with Andy, otherwise I’d call Jinxx.

When I found Andy he was laying on the ground, his sleeves wet of blood. “Fuck” I cursed under my breath. “Andy…” no response, his eyes looked dead. “Andy baby” I cried. “I-I’m sorry” he whispered, and then he totally blacked out. I quickly got some help and two nurses took care of Andy’s injuries. He also got a heavy cold. It was fucking winter though and he lay there on the ground for I don’t know how long. Too long probably.

The eyes are a window to the soul. I hope this doesn’t come out this time because Andy’s eyes looked pretty dead.

Then I came to the conclusion I’d been crying for almost an hour. I decided to call Jinxx. “Hey buddy, everything okay there?” Jinxx asked. “No!” I cried. “Ashley, what is going on? Is Andy alright?” he asked worried. “Andy, he-he” I broke down again. “What happened?” Jinxx asked. He sounded shocked this time. “He-he almost killed himself” I choked out. A little silence. “What? How?” Jinxx asked. “H-he cut his wrists-too deep” I cried. “We’ll be there in a minute” Jinxx said. I could hear he was upset too.

Within then minutes the guys and Sammi arrived at the hospital too. They all gave me a hug. I saw that CC and Sammi were crying too. A nurse came in. “Are you family of Andrew Biersack?” he asked. “I’m his boyfriend” I said. “Okay, what’s your name?” The nurse asked. “Ashley Purdy” I answered.

The nurse took me to another small room. “This is Ashley Purdy” he said to another nurse. “Are you the girlfriend of Andrew?”. God, here we go again. “I’m his boyfriend” I answered. “Oh sorry, I didn’t see that” she said. “Well, I got disappointing news…” she started.

He is dead. That was the first thought what came up in my mind. Andy is dead. My baby is dead. “Andrew is in a heavy coma, he may not make it…” she said. “I can’t loose him” I whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek. “I’ll give you some time alone” the nurse said and took me to Andy’s room.

He lay there on the bed. His skin as pale as a corps. He was coupled to a bleeping machine. The nurse disappeared through the door. I looked at Andy. His eyes were closed, and he looked as pale as a corpse. His hair was a bit messy and he had dark cringles under his eyes, which didn’t come because of his make up. It scared me a little.

I sat down next to the bed, crying. I took Andy’s hand and caressed it softly. His wrists and arms were full of stitched wounds. I looked at them. So this must be the feeling of Andy when he sees me with my arms all open. “Andrew baby” I whispered. “Baby, why did you do this to yourself, you don’t deserve this…” I whispered. “Baby, you’re so beautiful, please stay with me… I know you’re strong Andy, you have to make it…” I whispered. Then the machine stopped bleeping, no heart pulse.