One Last Time (R18)

Kabanata XXXVI: RESOLVE VS. RESOLVE

Resolve Vs. Resolve
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"MAHAL NA KITA, KEIRA. Pakiusap... hayaan mo akong iparamdam 'yon sa'yo. Please give me another chance." His voice trembled with sincerity and desperation as he held me tightly from behind, holding me as if letting go would shatter him.

Mariin akong pumikit. It would've been nice to hear those words back when I was still the same desperate Keira.

But now... matagal na akong nakapagdesisyon. In fact, I had already made up my mind that night at the bar. Now, I'm just determined to end everything between us and finally move on.

Showing him that firm resolve, mariin akong umiling. "It's too late for that, Levi," pinal kong sinabi.

His begging only drags me back to the torment of his past rejections that only hardened my resolve like ice to cut all ties with him.

"We don't need a second chance," patuloy ko. "I gave up on you long ago. I'm moving on, close to forgetting you. So please, don't make it harder for me. Let me move on peacefully..."

Narinig ko ang marahas, tila hirap na paghinga niya habang nakasubsob pa rin ang mukha sa likod ko.

"No... you can't move on from me..." he rasped, his voice shaking as if the thought itself was unfathomable to him, na parang ikamamatay niya ang desisyon kong 'yon.

"Why not?" My hollow tone revealed exactly how unwilling I was to give in to his emotional appeal.

"B-Because I don't want you to. I love you. And I have no intention of letting you go. Not now, Keira," he uttered determinedly.

My jaw tightened. Napahigpit din ang hawak ko sa mga platong nakalimutan kong hawak ko pa rin. Kung noon ko ito narinig, baka naglulupasay na ako sa kilig. But now? My heart didn't even skip once. I felt nothing but a steely determination to distance myself and move on from him completely. And I was very close to achieving that goal.

I was already close to forgetting him. So close that I could almost see the end of it. All I needed was one final push—to sever every last thread tying us together.

With that desperate need, I called his name firmly. "Levi."

"Y-Yes?" Hope flickered in his voice, but like blowing out a lit candle, I extinguished that hope with my next words.

"You're drunk. That's why you're saying all these nonsensical things. Umuwi ka na. Tawagan mo ang pinsan mo na sunduin ka dito." My voice was steady and cold.

Sinubukan ko pang kumawala sa mga bisig niya, pero lalo lang niyang hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap sa'kin, as if holding me tight could make me change my mind, as if his embrace could erase all the pain he'd caused.

"I'm not leaving until you say you'll give me another chance. Please, Keira... just one chance," pagsusumamo niya, unwavering determination filling his voice, matching my determination to remove him from my life. "Please, just one chance..."

Sa halip na maantig sa pagsusumamo niya, lalo lang akong nairita sa pagmamatigas niya. I exhaled sharply. "I'm tired. I should be resting right now, but you're interrupting that. Nasabi ko na ang gusto kong sabihin. Wala na tayong dapat pag-usapan. Umuwi ka na."

His body stiffened behind me as if my words were a punch to the gut, making his embrace loosen up a bit.

Sinamantala ko ang pagkakataon. Kahit muntik nang matumba dahil walang suporta at may hawak na plato sa isang kamay, humakbang ako palayo sa kanya! Lumuhod ako at mabilis na pinulot ang binitawan kong walking stick gamit ang isang kamay. Pagkapulot, agad ko itong itinukod sa sahig to help myself stand and be steady as I faced him.