The Swallows and the Sunsets

Glowing Lights, Panic, Whiskey On the Side

They tell me not to dwell on the past, so threw every book out before the last two.

Trying desperately to get rid of my dark thoughts, but they tend to seep into everything meant to be safe.

Last night, I tried not to think of dying.

I want to go home has quickly become code for "I don"t want to be here."

I say it without thinking.

I want to go home.

I realized that this saying started when I was nine.

Virtualized rain sounds and burning eyes.

I just want to go home.

I broke down a wall today.

A slow progressing demolition in my brain.

I told her about the monster smoking cigarettes

But not about the similar one in my veins.

Still trying to find a connection with the men I fear and hate.

They're in my blood stream

And in my air ways.

To this day, it's become ritual to dred Tuesdays.

Last night I laughed instead of screaming at the top of my lungs

For this emptiness to go away.

The beat of music in the car 

Filled me up temporarily.

Tempo speeding up,

Wind in  my face,

Not the only reason why I feel like I'm no longer breathing. 

Seventeen is coming and I'm terrified,

I just want to go home.

Glowing lights, panic, whiskey on the side.

He falls.

Sometimes I wish he never got back up.