The Swallows and the Sunsets

Capricorn

My heart beats so fast when I'm around you. It isn't nerves and anxiousness. I don't know what it is. Well, I do. It's not that I'm scared to say it - to you I am - but in general, I'm not. I just don't want to.

Because the inevitable is well... the inevitable. One way or another, this will end. Whether it be that I'm not right for you, or you're not right for me. Or that you move or I move - that this becomes too much of a routine. That we'll always be stuck in a loop of nothing but soft fingers against hands, terrified to hold it.

I told myself not to feel. Not just for you, but for anyone. I closed myself off. Looked at things only by their endings and pain of loneliness.

But I looked at you. I looked into those baby blue eyes and god damn it, I swear I was in the sky. And it's never been clearer. I was never confused with you - I never am.

I'm not looking for a reason to live within you. I'm not looking for my happiness in your veins, and I'm certainly not looking for the suppressant to my anxiety in your voice.

I have never seen such golden freckles across such smooth, pale skin. I have never seen the weight of the world on someone else's shoulders but mine.

I went back home. I breathed in the burning cold air and all I could think about was how similar that feeling was to you. A relief. A comfort.

I don't want to say you feel like home.

But if I had to give you another name.

If I had a place to share with you.

That's where it'd be.