The Swallows and the Sunsets

Dad

I'm scared he'll do to them what he did to me. Make them question everything. Their existence.

He broke down every part of me and picked away at what he left.

I remember everything he said. Every comment he made on my weight and my skin. My appearance.

At dinner.

On the way home.

Every Tuesday.

Trapped in a new smelling car with his venom and his 'I love you's that didn't ever mean shit.

Wouldn't feed me until he deemed it to be right. Hungry to the point of throwing up.

"Slow down."

"You shouldn't be eating that much."

But, a lecture if I didn't eat what was on my plate.

I heard you say the same to her. I whispered in her ear to eat however much she wanted. To not listen to you. She looked at me like I was crazy. She won't understand yet.

"Dad says I'm not in shape."

"Only you get to decide that."

Saying the exact things I did. She ordered a salad. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. You can't do to her what you did to me. I wont let you.

She's only ten. My sister.

I tell her how beautiful she is every chance I get. How adorable her freckles look, as she tries to hide them. How beautiful her curly hair is, when she says she wants it to be straight. How graceful she is, when she says she doesn't like being the tallest in her class. I made her say it back to me. Like a prayer. I can tell she doesn't fully believe it.

It hurts me. He's already breaking her down.

I'm too late to stop it.