*Writing these oneshots fills you with Determination (Undertale AU Oneshots)

♠ Pain (US! Papyrus x Grieving! Reader)

You had lost your closest friend; it happened unexpectedly and what's worse, you couldn't have done anything about it.

So there you were, wallowing in your grief, guilt, and shame while isolating yourself at Muffet's. You grazed the half-empty glass of alcohol with your tingling fingertips; there were about five other empty glasses on the counter, some of which were stained with your tears. You felt a hot tear, or at least, it felt hot when your heart felt cold, roll down your cheek and land in your glass.

Muffet walked up to you, cleaning a glass and looked at you. "Dearie, I think you've had enough for tonight," Muffet soothed, setting down the clean glass in her hand.

"Please, Muffet, just one more, then I'll be-" you hiccuped, "Out of here."

"You said that after your third glass. I think you should head home, _____. Papyrus and Sans must be worried sick about you."

"Sure, Muff, right after another glass." You let your head fall to the counter, feeling your stomach start to growl.

"Not on my watch. I may be a bartender, but I don't have to give you more than you need. Here, have a spider donut."

You looked at the donut and found one of Muffet's spider friends on it, making you groan and put the donut back down.

"I'm not hungry. I feel like I'm going to die of sadness and sickness," you grumbled, burying your face in your arms.

"Even more reason to get home and get some rest. I'm going to call Papyrus so he can come and bring you home."

"Mmmkay."

10 minutes later...

Papyrus had come and taken you home, while you nearly passed out from dehydration. You were laying on the floor, empty glass in hand, drooling as you stared blankly into space.

Papyrus sat on the couch in front of you and stared at you, seemingly worried. "Kid," he started softly, "What were you doing at Muffet's?"

You groggily stood up and felt a pounding ache in your head. "What I usually do when I'm destroyed emotionally... getting drunk," you slurred your words.

"That's never the answer to your problems, kid. I should know... Come here." He patted the seat next to him on the couch.

You glared at him and hoisted yourself up and fell onto the couch as Pap put an arm around you. "I know it's rough... losing someone you care about. It hurts for a while, but with time and a little help from your friends," he motioned to himself, "You'll start to let the pain go."

You froze, staring at him with wide eyes. "'Let the pain go?' Let it go?" You started to raise your voice as you shot off the couch. "What in your right mind makes you think I can let something like this go? You don't know how useless and pathetic I feel because I couldn't do something to stop what happened! (F/N) is gone, because I wasn't there for them when they needed me! And I hate myself for it!" You felt your tears coming back.

Papyrus watched you carefully and listened to what you had to say; he looked kind of sad.

"You weren't there, Papyrus! You didn't see how they looked at me while I just stood on the sidelines and watched them die," you sobbed, "They needed my help and I just watched! I did nothing! Now, there's nothing I can do to bring them back!" Your sadness overthrew your anger and you fell to your knees, shattering your empty glass on the floor; you cried into your hands.

"... They're dead," you wept, "...Because of me." You started shaking, feeling your head start to ache again.

You flinched when you felt someone's arms wrap around you. Looking up at Papyrus, another tear falls from your eye but he wipes it away.

"It's okay, _____. You're alright," he comforted, rubbing your back as you buried your face in his shoulder.

You cried a bit more, wetting Papy's jacket with your tears; You face grew slightly red as he pulled you closer and hushed you.

"Shhh, I know. I know," he soothed.

After a while, you started to feel a bit better and Papyrus suggested you go take a nap while he hid all the bottles of alcohol in the kitchen from you, to prevent you from having a hangover the next day. Doing as he said, you isolated yourself in your room and lay in your bed before shutting your eyes and peacefully falling asleep.