Arnav's Khushi

Part 7

Arnav shocked listening to Khushi's reason of being in pain

Arnav - Khushi... tum... (with tears in his eyes) how.... Mein tumhare daard ki vajah kese... I.. don't understand (Khushi...you... How.... How can I be the reason for you pain.... I... don't understand)

Khushi - Hamare paas aaye (Come near to me)

Arnav goes near Khushi, while holding her hand, he sit down

Arnav (cupping her face) - Please tell me how did I hurt you, I know in past I did with my words and all but tell me how did I hurt you now

Khushi - (kissing his palm) aap ki himmat kaise hui mere Arnav ke bare me anaph sanap bolne ki, How dare you (How dare you talk rubbise about my Arnav)

Arnav - Lekin when did I, I mean I don't understand (but when did I, I mean I don't understand)

Khushi by this time was fully conscious, try to get up. Arnav helps her in sitting up and still waiting for her explanation

Khushi - Jab aap Devi Maya se baat kar rahe the tab aap ne kya kaha, ke aap raksas hai aur vagera vagera... (When you were taking with Devi Maya (God) than what didd you say, that you are devil and excetra excetra...)

Arnav - lekin yeh sach hai, mein ne tum ko bahut pareshan kiya tha jab tum office mein thi tub aur jab when you came home to teach Lavanya (But it's true, I did bother you when you work in office as well as when you work at my house)

Khushi - aap pehle yahan aayie mere paas (first, come here)

He goes beside her on the bed. Khushi put his head on her heart and start stroking his hair.

Khushi - Hum jante hai ke jab vo sab hua to humara Arnav kya mehsoos kar raha tha. Vo jaan buchke thodi na hame hurt karha tha. Vo to bas confuse tha apne naye emotions ko le ke. Kyon ki unhone phichle kai salo se apne dil ko bandh kar liya tha. Apni mom ko khone ke baad vo toot chuka tha lekin phir bhi apni family ke liye iss duniya se ladta raha. Kabhi apne gam kisi ke saath nahi batte, sub kuch akele hi sehta raha bina kisi ko kuch bhi jataye. Jo unke saath hua uske baad vo dara hua tha. Dar iss baat ka ke agar usne apne emotions to control nahi kiya to yeh duniya uska faiyda uthayengi. (Arnav starts crying listening to her as always she understood him better than anyone else, no even his di could understood her to this extent) (I know that whenever those things happen, what feeling my Arnav was going through. He didn't do it purposely, he was just confuse with all new emotions. He had closed his heart from many years. After his mom's death, he was broken but still fighting against this world for his family. He never express his pain with anyone. He kept everything in himself without letting anyone know, what's going on with him. After whatever happen, he was scared. He was scared that if he didn't took control of his emotions than this world will take advantage of it.)

Arnav - Khushi....(while crying)

Khushi - Sss, ab ap hi batiye, isme kya mere Arnav ka koi dhose hai? (Now tell me, is my Arnav still responsible for anything)

Arnav - but I still did hurt you, even to get away from my new emotions, I still purposely hurt you

Khushi - Hamesha to nahi na. Jab bhi app ne purposely kuch kiya to kya humne ase hi seh liya, kya hume uska jawb app to jan buchke pareshan karke nahi diya tha. aur vese bhi jab bhi app ne hume hurt kiya to kya aap khush the? ( Not every time. Any time you purposely did something, didn't I answer you by purposely annoying you. And any way, whenever you hurt me, were you happy?)

Arnav - (shaking his head) No... I always used to fill terrible. Jab bhi jane anjane me main tumhe kuch kehta tha uske turant baad hi I used to feel that how can I say such thing. Aur jab bhi tum kisi musibat main padi vo bhi meri vajase, I just wanted to hurt my self really bad. Tumhe dekhke ese emotional feeling jag jathi thi ke kabhi kabhi to main surprise ho jata tha ke how can one person have ability evoke such emotions in me. Remember, jab tumne vo Red sari pehni thi, for photo shoot, (he pick up his head and look right into her eyes and cups her face) us din, the feeling were so strong that I almost wanted to haul you and take you to my home and make love to you. (NO, I used to feel terrible. Whenever I intentionally or unintentionally say some things to you, I used to feel that how can I say such a thing. When you get in trouble due to me, I just wanted to hurt myself really bad. Sometimes, as soon as I see you, such an emotions used to wake up that I get surprise of how can a person have ability to evoke such a emotions in me. Remember when you wore red sari for photo shoot, that day, the feeling were so strong that I almost wanted to haul you and take you to my home and make love to you.)

Khushi - than why didn't you, agar aap ne us din hi vo kadam utha liya hota to hum dono yun hi ek dusre se jagad na rahe hote aur us din se hi ek dusre ke saat hote (Than why didn't you, if you took that step that day, we wouldn't fought with each other unnecessarily and we would be together)

Arnav (looking surprised at her statement) - May be I should have, than you wouldn't think of denying your treatment earlier (he kind of guess the reasons of her not going for treatment)

Khushi (shoked) - aap jante hai ke humne mana kyo kiya (you know why I denided)

Arnav - biwi ho tum meri, itna to janta hu tumhe main. Mein janta hu ke jab tum ko apni bimari ke bare me pata chala to tum apne aap ke akela mehsoos kar rahi thi aur usi akele pan ne tumse yeh fesla karviya ke agar tum treatment nahi karvao gi to tumhe iss akele pan se chutkara mil jayega, sahi socha na meine? Khushi tumhi ne kaha tha na, ke hum ek hai to phir hamari kai aadte bhi ek jesi hi hogi na. Jese maine apne pain ko kisi ke saath share nahi kiya vese hi tumne bhi apne pain ko apni smile ke phiche chupake rakha. Bas hasti rahi chahe koi kuch bhi kahe ya chahe koi bhi problems kyu na aa jaye. Lekin when you found out about your illness, you just gave up, actually let me not say that, you didn't give up but you fell into depression. Itne saalo se jo daard apne andar sama ke rakha usne depression ka rup le liya aur usi ke vajah se tum ne yeh fesla liya. Sirf yeh hi ek karan nahi hai aur kuch bhi hai jiske wjase meri Khushi kamjoor pad gayi and I want ke meri Khushi kud mujhe vo karan bataye (you are my wife, and I know you that much. I know that when you found out about your illness you felt alone, and this loneliness made you take decision of not going for treatment. I guess correct right? Khushi you said it that we both are one, so some of our habits are going to be same. Like how I didn't share my pain, you hide your pain behind your smile. You kept on smiling no matter what problems you are going through or no matter what anyone says. But when you found out about your illness, you just gave up, actually let me not way that, you didn't give up but you fell into depression. This build up of years worth of pain took from of depression and under depression you took such a decision. But this is not the only reason for your decision, something else made my Khushi weak as well. I want that my Khushi tell me herself what was the other reason.)

Khushi - How did you....

Precap - more emotional talk and doctor's report results