Mend My Heart (Currently being edited)

Mend My Heart: Chapter 8

I'm very sorry to tell you that yes, this is another sad chapter...*tears*

Anyway, I worked pretty hard on this one. Got stuck a few times, but eventually I sorted it all out. -Kellie

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That nights dinner was fantastic. The food itself, I mean. The conversation on the other hand, was NOT. After walking home from Saint Bartholomew's and stripping out of my winter clothes, I dressed in my warmest fluffy pants and a tank top and a huge grey hoodie that had once belonged to Jake. He'd given it to me on a date to the town carnival when it had started to rain. The memory almost brought tears to my eyes, but I pushed the thoughts away and went downstairs.

"Hey, sweetheart, we're having one of your favorites."

Mmm. Chicken, scalloped potatoes, green bean cassarole, fruit salad. This was one of my favorite dinners my mom cooked, because she made bitchin' chicken breasts. The counter was filled with the different dishes. I grabbed a plate and piled the plate. When it came to eating, I eat like a man. It's a surprise I'm so skinny. I should be fat.

"So, how was school today?" My mom asked. "You didn't get into any more trouble did you?"

I gave my mom a what-the-hell look. My dad looked up at us from the couch.

"Shit," I muttered.

"What kind of trouble did you get into? When?"

Mom looked at me apologetically.

I sighed. "I punched Mitch in the face."

Dad sat there and stared at me. "You did what?"

"I punched Mitch Cassidy in the nose and broke it."

"What could have possibly made you punch a boy in the face? Did he come onto you?" my dad demanded.

"No dad! He was just...he was telling his friends that Jake was better off dead. I couldn't let them talk about him like that."

Great, now I was crying. My breath hitched and the tears started to flow.

My mom ran over to me. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell anyone? Don't worry, Jamie. I would have punched Mitch in the face too."

And just like that, I was off the hook a second time. I scarfed down my food. Made some popcorn and grabbed some hot sauce. As I was walking to the stairs, my mom asked "What are you doing?"

"I'm going upstairs to watch a movie." I lifted the popcorn and hot sauce.

"Okay, sweetheart. Have fun."

I ran upstairs. In my room, I plopped on my bed and popped in Lethal Weapon.

Opening the hot sauce, I poured it on top of the popcorn and started eating.

"Why do you do that to yourself?" Jake asked from the armchair where he must have materialized. Damn my stupid imagination that puts me through hell.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jake."

He sighed. "You can't lie to me, Jamie, I'm a part of your imagination, remember?"

Jake stood up to come sit next to me on my bed.

"How can I forget? And I do it because it reminds me of you."

He put his arm around me. I wasn't even watching the movie.

"I don't understand why you put yourself through this. You don't even like hot sauce. You shouldn't have to beat yourself up."

"Why? It's all my fault you died. The least I can do is endure a little hot sauce."

"It was not your fault."

"I sent you to the store! Of course it's my fault! I should have been the one to die! It would have been a lot more bearable than living without you!"

Jake got angry. "Stop talking like that? What? So, now you're gonna kill yourself?"

"Of course not!" I retorted. "I'm not one of those petty bitches!"

"Well, you're definately acting like one!"

I stared. "...What?"

He looked me square in the eyes. "You are acting like one. You can live without me just fine. Life goes on. Go out and have fun, find another boyfriend, live your life. It's all I ask."

"How can you ask me that? After all we've been through?" I asked, a tear escaping.

"Because I just want you to be happy." Jake said softly. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Have a good night, my love."