my humanity

chapter 10-memory part 2

Harper pov

I got up didn't get back to sleep during the night so I got up out of Damon's bed and went to the bathroom to get my face wet I stared at myself in the mirror. I walked out to the library to pour me a glass of bourbon before going to work but Damon and Stefan was in there talking to each other but when I walked in there they stop and looked at me. I looked at them I'm fine I stated as I walked toward the bottle of bourbon but Damon put his hand on it and I looked at him can you please move your hand I asked. I don't have time for this guys I got to get to work to make money I slightly I started raising my voice.

you haven't slept all night Damon stated I rolled my eyes so what I will drink coffee at work to make me stay awake I sighed fine I will get a shot of bourbon at work I stated before turning to walk toward the front door ignoring Damon yelling my name. I opened the to find Elena coming in I turned to looked at Damon low blow calling my sister before walking out the door to get in my car and drive away.

Elena pov

I walked in as Harper was walking out I looked at Damon what did I miss I asked. Stefan got up to give me a kiss I repeated my question walking toward Damon. she basically stayed up all night after a dream she got out of bed and went get a drink and broke down crying Damon state before drink a glass of bourbon.

what was the dream Damon I glanced at him.

he looked at Stefan then looked at the floor please tell me what was it about I repeated. he glance at me and stated your parent she blames herself for what happened.

why does she blame herself I said out loud.

Harper pov.

I got to the grill turned the sign around then went to get some coffee before work and I heard someone come in the door so I grabbed a pen and pad then got ready to walk over to the table but it was Stefan and Elena I went to ask Matt to go take their order because I didn't feel like talking them anymore about the subject of my parent tragic accident. so I walked into the kitchen out the back door to take a breath. as I walked outside I saw Damon standing right side so I headed back inside but he grabbed my hand I turned to look at him what do you want from me I shouted.

what you want me to do break down again I'm not going to do that you want me to feel sorry about blaming myself I cant because they wouldn't be there if I didn't call them I screamed. I want you to actually be alright and sleep not stay up all night he whispered as he pulled me to a hug.

I have to go back to work I said as I broke the hug. I walked back into the grill and took peoples orders all day long then I walked over to Elena table hey can you pick something for me before I get off she stared at me and nodded and pens and paper from the store please I ask as I glances off to see Damon behind me at the bar.

I went back to work thinking to myself about leaving mystic falls for a while. it is already closing time I am going home to talk to Jacob about going back to forks for a while. I walked out to my car when gush of wind blew threw me made my body shiver at first I thought it might have been my parent I realize there is no such thing as ghost. I got in my car and drove to the house where Stefan and Elena was so I seen Jacob on the couch playing a game with Jeremy I walked over and whispered come up stairs I need to talk to you in private. I turned around ask Elena if she went to the store for me and she said the stuff is up on my desk I looked at Stefan it like he knew what I was going to do. but I ran upstairs pulling Jacob with me. I turned on my radio so Stefan cant hear me I asked Jacob If I can borrow his phone when gave it to me I dialed one person that I can talk to about anything.

hello Bella I need to ask you a question cousin I said as tears started to come down. she asked what is going on I wiped the tears away can I come down again please I need to get away from mystic falls. she said I can when will I be coming and I mentioned soon either tomorrow or tonight.

I handed him his phone to him as I ask how do you feel about leaving that soon because I want you to drive my car. he said are you sure you want leave and I said yes I'm sure then he was about to walk down stairs I told him don't say anything about me going with you. I sat down at my desk and grabbed a piece of paper and started writing to family and friends.

my dearest sister Elena,

I'm not good at saying goodbye so don't think about this as goodbye who knows I might come back I cant do this anymore it was my fault for calling them to ask if they can pick us up but I am going back to forks please don't tell Damon because he would come and bring me home and I cant be here right now I am going to stay with our cousin Bella and Edward for a while after having that dream and I will miss you so much. I love you Elena

with all my love,

your twin.

I got finish writing Elena's letter now I'm going write to my Salvatore's boys.

my dearest, funniest, and sexiest Mr. Salvatore,

I'm not good at saying goodbye so please understand I'm doing what you wanted I'm going away for a while so I can try to get to where I can sleep at night like you want. don't try to find me if I come back I want it to be because I feel better not because you came and got me. If you care about me you will let me do this. I love you Damon you made me feel what love was you made me feel like I was special and I think I'm even in love with you. your the best sex I ever had. another thing is i think this will be good for you to find out how you feel about me or if you only dated me to get to my sister.

with all my love,

miss gilbert Harper.

I decided to write rest off the letters tomorrow. I went to go to my car to drive over to see Damon one last time I walked in to see him in the library I walked up to him and kiss him and grabbed his hand and lead him to his room and started kissing him then laid me down and took off our clothes I felt the tears slowly coming down my cheek. as he make love to me I moan but no sound came out.

I climbed out of his bed when he fell asleep and went back to my own bed then tries to sleep. I woke up when Stefan came in asking if I'm alright when he heard me yelling for my parents in Elena's room.