The River Speaks

Chapter Thirty Six: You're Right

Chapter Thirty Six: You're Right

I shaved and showered and brushed my teeth and then I blow dried my hair and I'm in clean clothes, consisting of grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

I still have no idea what I'm going to say to him, so I'm going to wing it.

I leave my suitcase in the bathroom and walk out with my phone in the pocket of my sweatpants. He's texting furiously on his phone and the second I walk out, he locks the screen and looks at me.

"I called my Mom." He says.

"And?" I ask.

"And she told me that you're in love with me."

Dammit Jackie.

"I told her she was wrong."

He doesn't say anything else, so I just kind of stand there.

Come up with something to say.

"You were right." I say finally.

He just raises his eyebrows and waits.

"I am scared. I'm petrified." My eyes fill with tears. "I'm petrified one day you're going to wake up and realize that you don't love me anymore."

"Lily-"

"Aiden, there are a lot of things I need to say, okay? So please just let me say them."

He nods.

"I'm scared that one day you're going to wake up and realize that the girl you work with is better than me. I'm scared one day I'm going to do something that pisses you off and you're going to-to twist my mind into thinking that my family is horrible and I'm going to be back in the same situation where I'm forced to have sex and I get a couple broken ribs for accidentally spilling something in the kitchen. So I ran. I found out you loved me and I ran. I thought I was doing what was best, but I wasn't." Tears are sliding down my cheeks and I can't stop them. I'm so tired of crying. "I thought that...if I broke your heart, you would hate me and I wouldn't have to worry about you hurting me. I thought life was about surviving, but my Mama was right. It's about living. And you know what? Your Mom was right. I'm so in love with you that it's making me go crazy. I was going to blow all of my saving trying to find you. I probably got fired, my apartment is-God, don't even get me started on my apartment. I cry all the time. I flew into two countries not knowing any of their language to find you to tell you that I love you too, and I didn't mean any of it. You said I was going to wake up one day and realize I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and you were right. I woke up too late. I realized too late. You lied to me, but if it was switched, I would have lied too. But dammit, Aiden, I would die for you. I would let somebody throw me off a boat with fifty pound weights on my ankles so you could live. I would let you take all the food if we had only a little bit left. I would run in front of a bus for you, a gun, a missle, you name it. I don't give a shit what it is. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm rambling. The point is that I love you more than anything in this world." I take a shaky breath. "And I fucked up. I broke your heart, and I'm sorry. I wanna be with you and only you. I'm tired of trying to convince myself otherwise."

The hotel room is quiet, the only sound is the window AC unit blowing in heat. His eyes are locked on mine.

Shit. Should I say something?

Lily," he starts softly. I open my mouth to speak but he shakes his head and stands up.

"It's my turn to talk."

I close my mouth.

He stands less than a foot in front of me, looking down at me.

"What you did..." he shuts his eyes. "You managed to hurt me worse than anybody has ever hurt me before."

I try to speak again and his index finger presses against my lips.

"You hurt me. A lot. And it makes me anxious to know you could do it again at any time-"

"I won't."

"Let me talk." He laughs a little so I sigh and force myself to shut up.

He takes a deep breath, his smile fades and he looks serious.

"You have the power to destroy me." He says. "But then I think of that night on the phone when you told me that all the shit God throws at us is to lead us to who we're supposed to be with, and you were right. God, you were so right." He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "I'm looking at you now," he brushes his thumb across my freckled cheeks. "And all I can think about is how you're the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life. You're the girl I want to argue with. Tease. You're it for me. And it doesn't matter how much you hurt me, because I'm always going to come back to you, because it's you, and it has been since the day I accidentally called you...I just didn't know it then. You are my future wife. Tell me I'm right."

I look into his eyes and I realize how close we are. I'm against the wall and he's in front of me, both of his hands pressed against the wall on both sides of my head.

You are my future wife. Tell me I'm right.

Fuck, he smells really good. My eyes drift down to his lips and back to his eyes.

"You're right." I whisper breathily.

He lets out a breath, maybe because he was expecting me to flip out and run.

If it as switched, that's what I would expect of him.

But I'm done running.

"I love you so, so much." He says.

"I love you, too."

And then he's kissing me, his hands reaching down to lift me into his arms. My legs lock around his waist, my fingers skating through his golden hair. I feel him lie me down on the mattress and climb on top of me, his lips trailing down my jaw. He places feather-like kisses on my neck, pulling the hem of my shirt slightly to suck on my collar bone. My hands ache to feel his body so I start pulling at his shirt, watching in pure glory as he sits back and pulls his shirt over his head.

My hands roam his chest and abdomen, feeling his washboard abs at my fingertips. I squeeze his biceps as he kissing my lips, and then he pulls away slightly, laughing.

"What?" I mumble, opening my eyes.

"Nothing, you're just really cute."