Self Loathing (Dr. Alto Clef x Reader) | An SCP Fanfiction

Why. . .?

Third Person View-

Everything went to black when she shot the metallic box, after Bright yelled out Alto's name. Everything hurt; my head, my body, my arms, my legs, but most of all, my mentality. 

Many questions ran through your head. But one stood out, "Is Alto dead?" That depressed you.

The sound of marching sounded through your ears. You couldn't see a thing, you could hear the distant sound of talking, but it was faint. Nightmares loomed in your mind, as they tried to attack you, but something was stopping them.

I see you have many questions. It spoke to you, crawling out of the shadows. 

You looked up at it, 'Nice to see you too.' you spoke back. You walked toward it, and hugged it. 'I missed you.' It wrapped it's claws around you and rested it's head on your shoulder.

I missed you too. But, I was weak. You were weak. We couldn't talk to each other until, well. That happened. It looked away, a bit angry with itself. 

'It's okay. Just hope that he is safe. Alright?' It nodded and put its wing around your torso. 

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Marching. It was all you could hear, it was just marching. You woke up, shaking and crying. 

Your head, it was throbbing. The pain, oh the migraine. It pained you too much than it should have. You could hear marching in the halls and that was enough to set you off.

Screaming. It was the one thing you could hear. Your vision, blurred into a mixed coloration of white and grey. Almost like static. The ringing in your ears never ceasing to give release to the ever growing migraine inside your head.

Everything is hurting, everything is in pain. Why is nobody stopping it? Stop the pain! Please! Somebody!

. . .

But nobody came.

The screaming, only your own. The pain, it was your own. Everything, it hurt. You blink, and catch something at the corner of your eye. 

A large silhouette, bent over your bed, arms folded. Their hat, it covered their face. 

Your thoughts started to try and process, your head hurting even more as you winced, then whimpered. 

The silhouette's body movements seemed to be awake. You did scream, after all.

"Who, are you?" Your voice hoarse, your mind still trying to process everything.

You were caught, then your vision turned black. 

Alto was shot.

Your demon killed the culpri-

Alto!

The sudden realization dawning, you turned to the figure on the bed. They got up, revealing themselves as Dr. Alto Clef himself. You teared up, and tried to hug him, attempting to ignore the migraine in your head. 

"Hey, there. How you feeling?" His voice, tired. It sounded like he had been crying. You chuckled lightly, sighing as you did so.

"I'm feeling a lot of pain. But I'm going to be alright." You replied, as softly as you could. "A bit hungry though." You chuckled again, as he smiled. You can tell he had a lot on his mind.

'I'm sorry I let you down. I hate myself because I couldn't even take down one measly human. I'm worthless. I can't do anything right' You hugged him, tearing up at the sound of his thoughts.

"You are perfect just the way you are. And I love you because of it." You hugged him, still tearing up. "You fucking asshole, I love you." He slowly, and hesitantly, wrapped his arms around you. 

"Why?" Your ears perked up at the one word. You sighed and smiled.

"Why isn't a question you should be asking. But, It's because I love you. You're one of the best people to ever enter into my life. I appreciate that. I also thank you for it." You finished. 

"I love you too." Alto replied, smiling.

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Word Count: 632

Author Inspired: xXEndlessXx

A/N: Hello, everyone. I am planning a closing chapter. I know you may not want me to end this book, but. I have another book out. No, it is not SCP related but instead, it involves demons and other super natural creatures. It is called "When Demons Rise". You don't have to go and check it out, but I will be planning the last chapter very thoroughly, so it may take some time. I hope you all have a good day, and I will see you all later. Bye!